There’s a new Dave Hause album out today, called …And The Mermaid, (or Dave Hause And The Mermaid, if you prefer) and it’s outstanding. You probably knew this already, for 2 reasons. 1. It was the first thing you listened to, when you woke up this morning. 2. Dave Hause is consistently outstanding. He releases lots and lots of music, and the vast majority is awesome. We can trust him. This is a rare thing and he must be celebrated as one of our finest living artists.(If you haven’t listened to the record, now is a good time to do it. This post will be here when you get back.)

Next, the site is prompting me to list 3 jobs I’d “consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.” I am currently employed in the only field I’d like to work. My profession and my personal passion and interest happen to be the same, and it’s a good thing that I can draw any kind of salary from it. I have very few discernible skills suited for any other career. It isn’t a path to the conventional idea of great material wealth, unless you’re a tv or megachurch pastor (or a thief, sometimes all 3), but it has certainly been a path to enormous spiritual/emotional/relational wealth. And we lack for nothing at all, so I’d say it depends on what you consider material wealth to decide if I have it. Using my own definition, I do, wildly so, and I suppose that’s the only definition that matters.

I’m a little introspective today. The next time I write (and post), I’ll be 50 years old. That is a number that can bring about quite a lot of reflection. Who am I? What am I doing? Can I really be this old, and is 50 as old as I thought it was when I was 10 or 18 or 30? Incidentally, it’s not.

Added to this, I’ve been ill lately. Not the “ill” for which the Beastie Boys were licensed – in that, I am, and will always remain, very ill – but I have some sort of…something. I’ve never had what I have now and won’t bother you with symptoms. (I am ok, I’ve been to the dr for a yearly physical and blood work, so no need for even one moment of worry. It’ll pass, or it is the new normal for my next 50 years. Who knows?) But, it has effectively sidelined me, giving me extra time to think about my life and the decisions I have made, make today, and will make in the future.

BUT MOSTLY, what I have come up with, when I look at these 50ish years, is how grateful I am. I would not have ever imagined I would marry a woman in the class of The Angel (it’s even harder since she’s the only one of that particular class.) …And these 2 boys. …And this family. (You understand that family is much broader that simply blood relation, right? I refer to my church community, my friends, and you (though we may have never met.) …This day …This kiss, hug, puzzle, pizza, text message, sunset …All of it.

There is nothing extraordinary about me. I am not the smartest, most handsome, or funniest. I can not run very fast or throw a baseball 100mph. I don’t make a living from YouTube payments from the streams of our Sunday services, and the stats page on this site say that I won’t make any money here anytime soon, either. I dance pretty well, but I can’t sing at all. I should lose 25 pounds – and if I do, I’d still be 20 lbs over my idea weight. My skin isn’t that great, and my teeth aren’t as white as they could be.

None of this is disappointing to me anymore, if it ever was. What it tells me, now, is, well, it tells me that when I wrote “there is nothing extraordinary about me,” I was wrong. And that “extraordinary” is the people with whom I’ve been blessed to share this wonderful life. I’ve been given these gifts, and for the most part, I have been able to simply enjoy them/you. I have been present, shown up, and I am wholly grateful.

There is a saying that goes, “but for the grace of God go I,” and maybe there’s no one where it has ever been more true. My bad decisions, failures, mistakes, wrong turns, have generally not jaded me, or turned me into a cynical curmudgeon. I did nothing to gain any of this – the very definition of grace. I know I am loved, even as I am.

Right now, “Strain Your Memory,” by the Menzinger’s is on, and there’s a familiar lament in it: to go back to when life was more simple. And maybe that’s one of the biggest gifts of grace that has allowed me to experience all of the others. I am a simple man. I rarely wish for more, or someone else’s anything, or anything different from what I have. When I pass from this life into the next, I will not wish for the times when things were simple – they are now – and I will not wish I spent more time in relationships (though I will wish I had more time to care for all of the relationships I would like to care for). If there is a key to this life, it is unbelievably simple: to love. All of the rest is noise and distracting from what is actually important; the God that created all of this beauty, and you.

Happy Birthday to me.

[now, seriously, if you haven’t listened to the Dave Hause record, go ahead and do that, as a birthday present to me]