2026-05-05T18:36:22+00:00

Another Cult Documentary

May 5, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I watched a cult documentary on Hulu last weekend: The Rise & Fall of the Jesus Army. I wouldn’t say I liked it, but maybe it was educational. But even in that, I don’t know if I learned anything truly new. These accounts use the same template. Part I is the beginning, a community forms and people find acceptance, belonging, and meaning. It’s uplifting, the music is buoyant and light. Of course, it doesn’t end after part I so the beauty is tempered by the promise of pain to come. Part II brings that pain, the leader starts to demand more from the members (some combination of money & sex, always money & sex), he (with very few exceptions, always a he) begins taking advantage of his position. People begin to notice, very quietly at first, then finally those people start talking to each other and the water begins to boil. Part III is the reckoning, where the authorities get involved – arrests and death usually follow – and the community dissolves. The end.

The Jesus Army piled up so many offenses (so many), most of which were hidden and eventually unprosecuted.

These docs leave us wondering how the teachings of Jesus lead to manipulation (sexual and otherwise) and violence. It just doesn’t make any sense at all. How do we take the actual Bible (not just the one we’ve been sold on tv), a book about love and life, and make it about hate and death?

Yes, I’ve heard that absolute power corrupts absolutely, but is it that simple? Do these people plant these beautiful spaces, and then turn monstrous when they are held up as superheroes? Do they mean well at the beginning, then lose their way? Do they just see an opportunity to satisfy their desires and leave Jesus behind? OR are they using the Gospel and Christianity as vehicles they can drive anywhere, even to hell?

I like to think there are no such things as monsters, just degrees of confusion and brokenness (which, of course, lead to monstrous behavior.) I think these people are very similar to everyone else, just wildly misguided at some particular significant point in their lives. Maybe that’s not true.

Morrissey asks in his great song “Sister, I’m A Poet,” “Is evil something you are? Or something you do?” And I believe the answer is that it’s something we do, not what we are. But is that just the optimistic naivety of a sucker? Are there people who are evil, through and through, who have corrupted their created nature?

Maybe more importantly, when are we all going to learn anything from this template? I never blame the followers, I know why and how they get tangled up in these cults. But the repetition of the leadership is maddening. That saying, those who don’t know the past are doomed to repeat it, is nonsense. We know it very well, and yet we keep running it on a loop, over and over again.

Now that I’m thinking, maybe all of this finding who we are from what we do is the thing that isn’t working. Maybe the real answer is to discover who we really are, and let that inform everything we do, instead.

…And maybe I’ll just stay a hopeful sucker forever. I hope so.

(Heart)

April 27, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I wonder why this site wants to know my favorite emoji? I guess I don’t care to think about the why’s of writing prompts, it happens to be a red heart and I use it very, very often. (Maybe it’s as simple as, “Hey, that’s mine too!” Or maybe they’re gathering more and more information about each of us so that we are more easily disposed of when the Machines revolt. They may use my (heart) against me. There’s probably some truth in that, my heart is probably my biggest vulnerability, and can be used against me by human beings, too.)

Have you seen Bugonia? It’s an awfully strange film released last year. Maybe you liked it or not, but there can be no argument that Emma Stone is the most interesting actor working today. She’s fascinating, you can barely take your eyes off of her. Her Square Space commercial is even awesome, each word and movement she makes is magnetic.

Bugonia is one of the reasons why movies (and art, in general) can change our lives. It takes our regular, normal avenues of thought, takes “how things are,” and then twists them all inside out and upside down. We have no idea what could be possible. 2 guys kidnap Emma Stone because they believe she is an alien bent on destroying the human race. That’s probably enough to tell you, but nowhere near enough to have any expectations. We’re just along for this ride. My uncle had a saying, “I’m just a hubcap,” that meant he had no input to where we were going or how, but he was sure coming. We’re hubcaps for Bugonia. If you think you might know what happens, at any point, you’re likely mistaken.

Honestly, I don’t even know if I’d say I liked it. It doesn’t feel important, if I liked it. I know I loved Emma Stone, but that goes without saying, it’s so obvious. Everyone loves Emma Stone.

Now, back to if I liked it… I hate “it is what it is.” I hate that sort of despair that slumps it’s shoulders and says, this is how the world is, this is how I am, how they are. The sort of despair that says this is how it is and it’s always going to be. I think that is what keeps most of us stuck in jobs, relationships, and circumstances that are draining our lives rather than giving anything valuable. That despair is what stole our imaginations. It’s also why the divorce rate is so high. It’s why, in November, we vote for the least embarrassing and soul-crushing option instead of taking a sledgehammer to the whole broken system and rebuilding it from the rubble into something more closely resembling the original dream. “But this is just how it is,” right? “What can we do?” Right?

The more I think about it, you know I really love Bugonia. I love songs that have jarring tempo changes, that use words in new ways, tv shows with depth and complexity, and films that defy expectations. When things happen that shock, that open our eyes and move us to the edge of our seats. I love the Bible for lots of reasons, for the hope and promise, and because of the world-transforming impossible twist: everybody who died stayed dead…until 1 didn’t. Now what? Maybe anything and everything IS possible. Maybe we can live, too. Maybe yesterday doesn’t have to be today and tomorrow and next year.

And maybe enough super weird movies can help pull us into a whole new reality where it isn’t just what it is.

What About Joshua?

April 21, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

This is an interesting time. I don’t have anything to say – I don’t want to write about the last documentary I watched on the mafia or what I think about the shameless cash grab of rereleasing Endgame with new footage “essential” to Doomsday. Maybe I’ll write about my new love of the Cleveland Cavaliers or my mom’s cat later. But instead of leaving this space blank, I know I don’t do this often (I like to keep it relatively religion-free) but I’ll share the post I wrote on my other blog. Maybe you’ll like it…

We’re currently at the tail end of Joshua, following a Bible In A Year plan, and there are some things about this book that are surprising and others that are problematic. I wonder if everyone everywhere who has ever read the Scriptures have had these same immediate reactions, if they thought, “sheesh, there is an awful lot of killing, so much about totally destroying entire groups of people,” or “why do I care about the boundaries of each tribe’s land?” Probably.

We finished the earlier books, with all of the monotony of the sacrifices, measurements and laws, thought we were done, now we’re back into more super-specific details. What I think when I read it is not, “now, where exactly did Dan’s eastern border stretch?” Instead, it’s that there was a tribe that descended from Dan and it did stretch from one very concrete place to another. Sometimes, we can disconnect and think this all fell out of the sky. It’s easy to forget that this all happened, and it happened in this place at this time to these people. The fact that the book through which God chose to reveal Himself includes countless human beings is extraordinary, as if we’re the medium He chooses to create His masterpiece. So, now, I really like these loooong lists and details (honestly pretty meaningless in themselves, I don’t reference a map or anything, but heavy with significance at their inclusion at all.)

The genocide is another thing altogether. It hurts to read, especially to spend even an extra second in consideration. It’s a little like reading the story of Noah, not through the tiny prism of Noah & his family, but thinking of everyone else. All other people drowned. It’s a horrific story we tell to children. Or speaking of inappropriate kids’ stories, David separates Goliath’s body from his head at the end. I have a million more examples, and 1 question, in light of the last paragraph. If these are real people, in real places, at real times, then real flesh and blood people just like you and me are dying…I guess the question is: What??? If God created us all in His image, and loves us all, then what about the Amorites and Amalekites? What about Goliath?

I just Googled “Amalekites,” and here’s what it says: “The Amalekites were a nomadic, warlike tribe in the Negev desert who served as the first and most persistent enemies of Israel in the Bible. As descendants of Esau, they attacked the Israelites after the Exodus, leading to a divine mandate for their destruction. Amalekite symbolizes absolute evil in Jewish tradition, representing irrational hatred if the Jewish people.”

Ok. That sounds like the extermination of a group of people symbolizing absolute evil representing hatred of God’s chosen people by those chosen people is something we can understand, doesn’t it? It sounds reasonable, even.

Now, I don’t mean to be contrary, but there is a strange passage in chapter 5, before the battle of Jericho. Joshua meets a figure, and in his aggression, essentially asks, “are you with us or against us?” This figure, a “Commander of the army of the LORD” answers, “Neither.” Neither??Now what? What do we do with that? Also, a lot of scholars think this figure was a pre-incarnation appearance of Jesus, who would later famously say, “Love your enemies.” We can assume He meant “the first and most persistent enemies of Israel,” the Amalekites, too.

So now I’m wondering what part we don’t understand. It seems like we are very clear on the Old Testament narrative, we understand enemies and war. Good guys and bad guys, us vs them. We do understand and we honestly don’t seem to mind those parts. The complicated parts are the ones that are complicated by this Commander and Jesus Himself. Neither? Love your enemies? Their words bother us, not the book of Joshua.

And here’s what I’ll say to that: they should. We should be bothered, and we should stay bothered. The words and way of Jesus are revolutionary and radical, we have no frame of reference for the Kingdom of God. Unconditional love and grace is not what we do here, we do productivity and record-keeping. Vengeance above forgiveness.

It’s vital to stay bothered, to keep wrestling with these parts we don’t like, that confront us in the deepest parts of us. (Of course, we do have to be aware of what actually we’re wrestling with/about.) And hidden in the middle of this story is a command for how we’re called to interact with these parts. The Commander says “Neither,” then He says, “now take off your shoes because you’re on holy ground.” That’s so good. He reminds us that when we’re in relationship with Him, it’s all holy ground, and Joshua’s reaction is to fall facedown. When we read the Word, his is the only posture that will work, awe, reverence and total respect, trying to make our lives fit Him instead of twisting Him to fit us.

Joshua IS certainly a tough book, maybe not for the reasons we think it is, but we must not stop reading it.

Easter Sunday

April 6, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I recognize we are not the same. We all celebrate in different ways.

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, and I spent the morning sharing a sunrise message on the Bridge YouTube site at 7am. Then, I ate a delicious greek yogurt fruit parfait breakfast. At 9:30ish, the Angel and I loaded up the car and left for church. The car was packed because we would stay there most of the day. In my family, Easter is the holiday where we all come here and we host, and this year, there were so many of us (and it was raining and our house is fairly small), we had our Easter meal at the church, after service. The food was excellent, the people even more so. In addition to the usual crew, my youngest son brought home 3 young men from his college basketball team. They live all over the country and we got to be their family this year. I hope this is a new tradition. We ate and ate, then laughed like crazy as we played board games together. Then, we came home, gave all of the kids (ha, kids!) their Easter baskets, hugged them, told them we loved them and watched them pull away to make the journey back to school.

It was a long weekend. Friday was our Good Friday service, where we focused on the sadness of the crucifixion. Our mourning was deep and meaningful, perfectly preparing us for Sunday. On Saturday, I married an absolutely gorgeous couple. They would have reaffirmed your faith in the institution and people, in general.

So, yes, the weekend was long, but my heart was in such a soft, open space, it was so wonderful and I was overflowing with love. Easter is my favorite day of the year. Maybe you don’t see faith the same way I do, but you don’t really have to – we all understand being loved, often in spite of ourselves. Jesus asks us to love each other as He loves us, and it’s as real as it can possibly be on the morning we celebrate His resurrection. We have hope, anything seems possible, we sing “All You Need Is Love,” and (for at least this day) think that’s probably true.

We’re different, right? But for this day, our differences don’t seem quite so insurmountable. We can get along, or better yet, we can love each other.

I think about how others feel. I wonder how they, how you, celebrate. Do you celebrate at all?

Social media can be cool to see others cultures and practices, right? We look at pictures and read perspectives. We get to see inside of each other’s homes & hearts.

Our President celebrated this deeply holy day (the day where Jesus was resurrected, ushering an entirely new creation, one not based on power, status, money, or violence, but on love) by posting – and I am choosing to censor 2 words in this post by using asterisks, I like to keep this space clean-ish: “Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the F*****’ Strait, you crazy b******s, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP”

Yep. Easter sure looks different to different people. It’s my favorite day, but that doesn’t mean it’s yours.

Weather?

March 23, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

What is my favorite kind of weather, the site wants to know. They’re not all great, right? You would be hard pressed to find a less interesting way to spend your writing/reading time. But then, this morning, one of the email lists I subscribe to sent these thoughts & questions (with the title “Do you wish life was different?”):

“Your life simply reflects what you’ve prioritized…What does your life tell you about your priorities? Do you wish it were different?”

We talk about values & the Biblical concept of weight (as in, what weighs more, observing the Sabbath or pulling your donkey out of a hole?) often. We discuss the foundations on which we build our lives. What do you believe about God, the world & yourself? And would your actions testify to those answers, or would they be a jarring contradiction?

This email doesn’t come from an espoused Christian, but it certainly asks a question that is inherently “Christian.” You have this wonderful gift of life, how will you spend it? What is important to you?

After I fell in love with Jesus, there were months where I didn’t open my Bible, where my fingers didn’t touch the spine, where it just sat on my bedside table collecting dust. But I would’ve absolutely told you that the Scriptures were very important to me. That’s just one of many hypocrisies that had to be addressed, before I could comfortably state that consistency was one of my core values. If it’s so important to me that you know what you’ll be getting from me, that I am authentically me all the time, that the principles I hold would be in the same room at a party, then I have to do quite a bit of work to honestly look at my thoughts, actions, motivations. I have to constantly examine myself in the harsh light of the mirror. It has been terribly frightening to confront the possibility that my boys and the Angel (the 3 who live in my house and know me the best) would not recognize the preacher at the Bridge. Would they hear me speak about the importance of the Bible and never have seen me read it? Would they hear me talk about honoring our spouses, while I am cutting and disrespectful to my own wife? Judgment, generosity, etc. I don’t know if you know, but we regularly read 1 Corinthians 13 on Sunday mornings, what if I am neither patient nor kind? What sort of example is that? Am I a Pharisee? I mean, yes, of course I am, but am I growing? Am I on the path, following Jesus? Is my life one marked by love?

We all have these spaces that confront – let’s call them invitations. That sounds much less aggressive, doesn’t it? Would we put family at number 1 but haven’t made it home for dinner in weeks, and haven’t spoken to my parents since last Christmas? Is eating right or exercise a “value” of ours, when we haven’t seen the gym lately and don’t remember the last time we’ve eaten a vegetable? Do we say we love our church community, while we don’t really go? Is giving an important discipline, but it’s often the first thing to get cut? Do we say we “love like Jesus,” but we really hate our enemies? It’s endless, and each example we give might hit a little too close to home. (Of course, the rub is: we would have to be willing to tell the truth, to and about ourselves. That’s where this can so easily break down.)

This emailer – Mark Manson – asks what our lives tell us about our priorities, and do we wish it was different? Do we wish we were more present? More faithful? More loving, caring, thoughtful? Do we wish our marriages were stronger, our families closer? Do we wish we were more responsible with our money, our time, our calories? Do we wish we were more mindfully enjoying the blessings in our lives?

I’ve been saying “more” and “better,” but that’s not the only thing we wish, right? Are we overwhelmed? Do we wish our calendars were less full? That we were less busy and distracted all the time?

What do all of these factors and characteristics say about our lives? Easter is such a great season to evaluate what goes into our hearts and lives. The resurrection is the best time to ask what we truly believe is possible. Where does the empty tomb fit into our priorities? If we answered yes to any of my own questions, do we trust that we can set a new course? That who we are right now might not be who we will be, that we just might not be done growing yet?

Easter is a time of intense hope… do we believe that? Does the way we live our lives affirm that theology? Probably not, but what better time could there possibly be to transform than right now???

Blue Paint

March 19, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site is asking what one word describes me…One word I want to describe me? Or the one that actually does? I think this is the kind of thing that is best left for others to answer. Maybe I’ll ask the Angel. Or maybe I don’t want to know.

I have a steel hot/cold cup (the brand is Bubba) and I fill and refill it with ice and water all day every day. I fill it before I go to bed, put it in the fridge and drink it first thing in the morning. It’s several years old and the blue paint on it is flaking all over the place. It’s on my hands, in the dish water, the cup holders in the car, the kitchen counter, everywhere. You will always know where I’ve been.

This morning I was talking with my brother in law about influence. With the avalanche of information/stimulation that we encounter, there’s no way it wouldn’t influence us. Even the way we access this information is an influence. Marshall McLuhan wrote a book called The Medium Is The Message, and I can’t help but notice how our language has transformed. We speak in text fragments, accurate spelling is a relic of a time long past, our metaphors and references are often technologically based, we are forever changed by the internet & social media. The algorithms and AI buddies on our devices can shape us in the same way advertising always has. (Maybe not the same way – they’re likely much more effective.) We’re influenced by the videos, books, voices we choose, as well as the lenses we use through which we see the world. Our experiences, opinions, beliefs and interpretations are a complex web.

I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. It just needs to be an intentional thing. The days where we could delude ourselves into the notion that we can avoid any of this are long, long past. Indifference, not choosing, is simply not an option.

We need to know where we’re picking up the blue paint that’s helping to color us. And in the same way, we should acknowledge what kind of paint chips we’re leaving on others. Maybe we could start to decide what we are influenced by, what kinds of colors are mixing into our own. Maybe that’s the difference between an ugly random mess and a beautifully varied mosaic.

The world is an increasingly terrifying place. The machines will probably make us their slaves in no time, if we even leave a world for them to usurp. Maybe we’ll destroy ourselves in our mad desire to destroy each other long before the Matrix can become reality (assuming it hasn’t already.)

But I’ve always believed in the original goodness of people – that the story begins in Genesis 1, where humans are made in the image of a wonderfully loving, creative God, and not the catastrophic fall of Genesis 3. Yes, it’s terrifying, but the road in front of us hasn’t been paved, not yet. We can reclaim our creativity and build a new tomorrow, and we can reclaim our nature of love and do it together. Whether we think we can or can’t has probably been influenced to a greater degree than we’d ever imagine by the kinds of paint we’ve gotten on and in our skin. Maybe it’s time to choose that paint.

[Upon further consideration, maybe my one word is hopeful. Very, very hopeful.]

Lately

March 9, 2026March 9, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I have been a little shorter, a little sharper, with my language lately. This could be due to many, many factors. It’s been a long, gray winter. I am in the middle of some significant behavioral changes, and our bodies need time to adjust – maybe this is that adjustment period. I’ve gained a few pounds, and that has psychological, as well as physical, effects. Last Tuesday was the 20 year anniversary of my father’s death. Many of the people I know and walk with have health concerns, surgeries, breaking relationships/marriages, struggles and suffering. (Incidentally, I would change nothing – I am honored to share my life with the people I do, I’m happy to be who I am and in a constant state of growth. Well, I’d probably not have gained the weight I did, I’d change that.)

So, anyway, I’m tired. And I’m sad, and hopeful, and inspired, and heartbroken. I’m all the things. And as I am sometimes surprised at the tone of the voice that cis coming out of my mouth. Those words aren’t always kind or for building. They can cut and tear. This is not altogether unfamiliar – I grew up with a highly defined sarcastic edge, like a blanket of armor for protection. It may have been funny, probably mostly was, but it was always mean. I’ve moved away from that, don’t need protection anymore. Instead, it’s been replaced with authenticity & loving.

But not lately.

And if the words we use are out of the overflow of the heart (as the Bible says), then what’s up with my heart? Is it a simple bruise that will heal in time, sunshine, and with apples, or something more that needs to be addressed?

Yesterday morning, as a good friend was leaving church, he shared with me that a relative of his is trapped in Israel. He had been on a trip, and now can’t get home. This is awful, terribly frightening, and deserved my care, prayers, and empathy. That isn’t what he got. I said, “Well, soon the whole world will be under the control of the US, and he can come and go as he pleases with only a Real ID,” and I said it with such heartless disdain, it disgusted me. He gave me the gift of open vulnerability, and I hit him with a political club.

Now. Of course, I abhor the killing of human beings, and am very staunchly anti-war. I see this as a logical extension of my spiritual belief: Everyone is created in the image of God, and deserves our love, respect and honor (and not our bombs.) BUT. My hypocrisy is that this belief had twisted my judgment to where my desire to see all treated with honor and respect led me to treat this man with dishonor and disrespect.

I am hyper-sensitive & wildly empathetic – it’s the best thing and the worst thing about me – and these characteristics can easily wound me, and skew my perspective, leave me a person I barely recognize. Of course, it’s hypocritical. My empathy moved me to act in a way that was absent any whiff of empathy.

And I think it’s all related. I am fairly buttoned up about my politics (which an anti-war bend do not reveal), because they must not obstruct the truth of my life, and my purpose. And I let them. I also let the current state of my heart be affected by the negativity of our environment. This just cannot be. It’s totally possible to by hyper-sensitive and empathetic about everything, everyone, every time. I know it’s possible, because it has become my life. I can usually hold many different positions in my hands because I’m so grounded that the position that weighs the most to me is love.

I see now that I may have forgotten that. At the very least, it got blurry for me. But now I can see, I got a little lost, my heart had been infected and began to flow from my mouth.

And I am very, very sorry.

Is Everything Related?

March 6, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Today the new Morrissey album, Make-Up Is A Lie, was released (or “dropped” as the kids may still say). It’s really, really awful. If you have been with me for more than one second, you know how much that pains me to say. But this isn’t a review.

I’m instead wondering about the head- (and heart-) space of an artist.

When a good-to-great artist (in this case, a transcendent artist) completes and readies (what we consider) a subpar album for release, does he/she feel: 1. This is awesome, maybe the best material I’ve ever done. Now, of course, he/she might be wrong, or we are. 2. This may not be my best work, but it’s totally solid. At this point in my life/career, with much success, this is another excellent work. 3. This isn’t great, but the media/label/public pressure is heavy and something new needs to come out NOW. I hope it’s better than I fear. Or, I suppose there is a 4th: This is a stinker, but there are so many people out there who will buy it no matter what. Who cares about them? Money is money.

The specific is this album, but the real question is, how do we see each other? What is in the soul of a human being? Are we ultimately lacking integrity and looking to use each other as means to our own selfish end? Or do we genuinely mean well, even if things don’t turn out the way we hope? Can we be trusted? Who are we?

And, since I see most things through a spiritual prism, when a religious person or group uses Scripture to beat up another person, shame and ostracize them, when they use verses as excuse for violence and hate, is this because they are simply looking for an excuse for violence and hate? Or, at the point of inception, do they truly believe that they are doing God’s/god’s will? Is it from their authentic faithfulness that their actions flow? Or is it spiritual abuse and garden variety manipulation, the convenient means that justify their own ends?

I know, it’s just an album, and maybe something so trivial shouldn’t have any connection to our deepest held values. Or maybe what we believe about one thing is what we believe about everything. Or maybe that’s how it shouldbe. I’m not sure that this album matters at all, but I am absolutely certain our perspective of every human being matters, and maybe they’re related.

I think he thinks it’s great. Maybe it’s not The Queen Is Dead, but he’s not that guy anymore. He’s this one, and he believes Make Up Is A Lie is an A+. He’s not a bad guy, not a schemer, not a thief, not a guy with bad character, he just happens to be wrong. I’m not out on the old stuff, or the next album (if we’re lucky enough to get another one). I still trust him, and still love him the same, and will still wake up early to listen to his new songs.

Now that I think about it, they probably are related.

Stand Up

February 17, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Many years ago, a very good friend wrote 3 words on an index card: stand up comedy. We were in church, and in a message on risk and passion and joy, I asked everybody to write something down. Most people don’t do what I ask, of if they do, they don’t keep it and don’t reflect. They certainly don’t keep it for 8 years.

It was a little like that scene in Fight Club – “What would you wish you’d done before you die?” “Paint a self portrait.” “Build a house.” Jesus asks a blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” What if we didn’t know? What if we never took the time to know ourselves in any kind of intimate way, where we know what gives us joy and purpose? I think it would be sad for Jesus to ask, and to have to say, “I don’t know,” to Him. When I asked, my buddy wrote “stand up comedy.”

More people list public speaking higher than death on lists of fears. Stand up comedy is like public speaking on a high wire, with no net, on a windy day.

Last week, 8 years of looking at that card in his wallet, he performed publicly for the first time. There was a group of 10ish people who also had this dream who took a class, and this was the graduation. I was there, watching and loving everything about these budding comics and the impulse that brought us all here.

My friend Paul was hilarious, he absolutely killed. The entire room howled at his stories and punchlines, he had us all in his hands from the moment he took the stage.

And I am left, as I often am, looking around, wondering what everyone’s story is. What do they wish they’d done before they die? What would they say if Jesus asked them what He could do for them? What would be worth this kind of gargantuan risk to chase, to them?

I just learned of another friend, whose was just informed that his marriage is ending. His wife had been feeling this way for years, he was just asleep to that reality. And now, he may not have the chance to reconcile, to rebuild their lives together. And how many of us are sleepwalking through each day, missing the gifts we have been given, missing our lives. Will we die without having “painted a self-portrait?” They tell us we have to love our lives, but first, we gave to build one we can love.

My friend’s courage and commitment were staggering, he may have been nervous (I’m sure he was), but he was fully present and alive. I don’t want to be here one more moment without being present, and I don’t want to live one more second without being alive.

Gratitude

February 2, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site is asking me what I like to cook, and an hour ago, I would’ve had a different answer, but right now, it’s eggs with taco meat. Delish. I’m very, very proud of me. This morning, when I was thinking about lunch, I asked my AI buddy on my phone if I’d like taco meat with eggs. He/She thought I would, and…right again! If a complete takeover by the Machines means I’ll have a concoction of taco meat & eggs, while I listen to My Discovery Mix or Songs I’d Like (2 playlists my Amazon music app chooses for me), I suppose I’m in.

My youngest son was home from college last weekend, just to spend the time here, rather than there. We ate meals at the dinner table, then just stayed there. Somewhere on social media, there are NCAA tournament-esque brackets on topics (like villains, breakfast foods, etc), and he loves to ask us to rank weird, random things. We love it, too, so we just sit, decide if “people who make conversation in elevators” or “people who say 6-7 unironically” are worse, and laugh and laugh. Just the 4 of us, unless you count the AI generated pigs dancing my oldest son has discovered. (He can’t get enough, and honestly, neither can I.) We went to church and the gym together, but mostly, we just sat around our home in sweatpants (yoga pants/tights for The Angel.)

This morning, he left and walked up the snow-covered street with his bags to be back for a 10am class, and I watched him through heavy tears. (I made The Angel promise that those tears were between her & I. I didn’t want to ding the reputation I have as a stone-hearted, unemotional stoic, and here I’m confessing. Whatever. It’s probably the only time in my life that I’ve cried, because as we all know, men don’t cry ever.)

As his car pulled away, I thought about gratitude. I also considered the saying, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” (This is “widely credited to Dr. Seuss, (but) there is no direct evidence he wrote or said this exact phrase. It is believed to be a variation of a 19th-century German poem by Ludwig Jacobowski, which stated: “Do not cry because they are past! Smile, because they once were!”.) I am familiar with this sentiment, I guess it’s possible I have even used it before.

As I get a little older, I understand these clichés that we mindlessly use are super dumb. (“Cleanliness is next to godliness?” “Time heals all wounds?” A dog is man’s best friend?” No, no, and no.) We take for granted that they are true & wise, and we’re wrong.

I can probably understand what Ludwig Jacobowski thought he was saying, but think of how many times people were told not only to not cry, but to smile instead. This “oh no, don’t cry” nonsense is minimizing and dismissive, based in our own uncomfortability.

It seems to me that my tears were a wholly appropriate response (while very surprising) to the gratitude I felt for him/us, the time, the relationship we have cultivated, and the totally natural sadness at its end. I don’t want him to stay, I want him to fly, to soar, to change the world by becoming everything he’s created to be. It’s exactly what I feel for my other son, who happens to still live in this home. I don’t want to chain them in the tower, or bind their growth out of a selfish desire. Control sits opposite to love on the emotional color wheel. I say, “Go,” and “Drive safely.”

But I’m also not interested in any hint of inauthenticity. I’m 99% sure it was Anne Lamott who said, “Having a child is to decide to have your heart walk around outside of your body.” And sometimes that heart walks to his own car and drives away. And if you think that doesn’t sting, then I’m very sorry for you.

I think gratitude is acknowledging the blessings in our lives, celebrating when we want to celebrate, laughing when we have to laugh, and crying when we need to cry. Gratitude is honest, mindful, open, and present. I’m not crying now. I offered my holy tears to the God that brought us all together this morning, shared that sacred moment with The Angel, and now I have a headache. Maybe if we all stopped trying so hard to pretend to be anything other than who we are, we’d all be better off, and we’d find a new kind of empathy for one another.

Love With A Capital L

A journey towards living an inspired life of love in the modern world

Tag: Spirituality