My son & I went to Dallas, TX earlier this week, to see a Mavericks game. His favorite player is Luka Doncic, and we have see him/them in Philadelphia each of the last few years, and I thought it would be awesome to take him to Dallas to watch Luka at home against a team that is not the 76ers. In this case, we would see Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors. As I detailed in this space last week, the Mavericks moved the game and we went to Dallas to see a game on Tuesday that was rescheduled for Friday. That’s nice, right? It’s no secret that professional sports don’t care about you or me or a dad taking his son to the arena for a Christmas present. (Maybe if that dad was Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, but not when that dad is Chad Slabach.) It’s a hard truth, but a truth nonetheless.

As we had nothing but free time in Dallas, we went to AT&T Stadium, where the Cowboys play, for a tour. (I’ve traveled some, and Dallas is really one of my favorite places I’ve been. It’s a cool city, with lots and lots of very interesting character and history. Incidentally, San Diego, CA is the best place I’ve been, outside of here, in Cleona, with my family and you.)

I can’t possibly know if you are familiar with AT&T Stadium, but it’s big. That’s a little bit of a joke. It’s like calling Morrissey a “good” singer, or Kiss simply “overrated.” They’re all hilarious understatements. This Stadium is a massive spaceship in Arlington, TX that you can probably see from the moon or Mars. As you pull in and park, and then enter the building, it’s size is mostly like a punch in the stomach, taking your breath away.

The tour guide was excellent, listing some of the records the monstrosity had broken (like # of flat screen TVs, and largest sliding doors), and construction specifications to create such a wonder.

Do you know you can get married there? Or have a sweet sixteen, bar mitzvah or quinceañera party? You can, but she never addressed why you’d want to.

I’ve been a Dallas Cowboy fan since I was 5 years old, and now it’s too late to change. I love them, and care more about if they win or lose than I’d admit. You’d think going to their home field would be something I’d really love, right? I did, I was sooo excited.

The tour took about 2 hours, and was a victim of the law of diminishing returns. One punch in the stomach is quite impactful, 1,000 not as much. There was a series of movies called Faces of Death when I was in college (I have no other details, other than what I remember from 1994, and I refuse to google it. Who knows what my algorithm will make of that, and what advertisements I’d start to get on my feeds???) that was, ostensibly, footage of actual deaths. I decided I didn’t believe it was that at all, just dumb false advertising. A girl I liked took me there on our one and only date (the movie was disturbing and anyone who chose to go there was not a prospective partner, no matter how good looking she was), and the first half-hour was absolutely shocking. Then, an odd desensitization took over and it was just clip after blurry clip of the same.

A half-hour of AT&T Stadium is awesome. 2 hours isn’t. Ok, it’s big. Now what? Extra-loud cars are the same. At first, it’s jarring, then you start asking questions. Why do you need a stadium to be so big? When is too big? Why would this be where you chose to spend your money? Is this really good stewardship of your tremendous wealth?

The Dallas Cowboys are an afterthought, there. This is a monument to Jerry Jones, it’s owner. This is excess for no purpose other than excess. It exists for it’s own sake alone. It’s a tower built to heaven, designed only to make gods of men, or specifically, a man. The Bible tells a story about just this kind of thing, and it doesn’t end with a Super Bowl victory. I like to call myself pretty unoffendable, but this temple was wildly offensive. Of course, I use religious metaphors – what else is pro sports, especially the NFL, but the quintessential American religion? Of course you can get married there! It’s the modern church, even down to the Sunday worship.

People can spend their money any way they want. Jerry Jones can create a gigantic shrine to himself, a testament to his own enormous ego (perhaps the only thing bigger than this giant silver egg). But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

And maybe I shouldn’t be a Cowboys fan anymore (what do they truly care?), but alas, I am.