I’m quite certain I have nothing new to say on this Coronavirus COVID-19 crisis and global lockdown. Wash your hands, stay inside, hoard toilet paper and hand sanitizer, you know, the usual things. Stay away from all people (pets are ok, I think… but what I know for sure about pets is that, according to PETA, the term ‘pet’ is derogatory and must be replaced with ‘animal companion’ immediately).

And on social distancing, (I mean “physical distancing,” which is now the appropriate term to use), Dr Arthur Caplan says, “Do your best to socially distance. Maybe don’t sleep in the same bed? Minimize sexual contact. Don’t share toothbrushes. Try to use separate things. You don’t want to be hugging and kissing. You always want to use good hygiene in terms of sneezing and coughing and still doing the hand washing thing frequently. You want to clean surfaces frequently. You might not want to share the same forks and knives unless you’re really sure they’ve been washed thoroughly. That kind of thing. You can have a discussion about how you would divide up your living space – but if they won’t go along, get away.”

This space in time asks so many more questions than it answers. Maybe this is no different than any other time, maybe all times are confusing as we’re living them. But we ask anyway, as if we’ll get answers.

Is this virus actually brand new? If so, like some report, why are other outlets reporting that it has been here for months, at least? Why is it transmitted only in the air and then also on surfaces and then in the air and then both again? Why are beer distributors and gun shops life-sustaining? Why do we care so much about this particular virus while alcohol-related deaths will faaaar surpass all COVID-19 in the time it takes to write this? Is it really just public relations? Maybe viruses should have as capable marketers as wines and lite beers? How long will I have to stay home? Minimize sexual contact? No hugs and kisses? How did these politicians get elected? Where is the stimulus and unemployment money coming from? Why does my mother-in-law use “u” and “r” instead of “you are?” Do I have enough toilet paper? Can I actually flush “flushable” wipes? If no, why are they called “flushable” wipes? If yes, why did my waste company send an auto-call telling me not to? Is “pet” really a derogatory term? What does PETA do? And the biggest question I have today: WHO IS SHARING TOOTHBRUSHES????

It’ll be over eventually, and there will be more questions.

Will we have learned anything at all? Will we force change in the system that we can so easily see has been exposed? Will this be a reset, an opportunity to build something new out of the ashes of this crash? Or will we simply go right back to the way it was before, like we always do?

I hope, at the very least, that we keep washing our hands and that the monsters who share toothbrushes will stop.