2026-03-09T21:01:53+00:00

Lately

March 9, 2026March 9, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I have been a little shorter, a little sharper, with my language lately. This could be due to many, many factors. It’s been a long, gray winter. I am in the middle of some significant behavioral changes, and our bodies need time to adjust – maybe this is that adjustment period. I’ve gained a few pounds, and that has psychological, as well as physical, effects. Last Tuesday was the 20 year anniversary of my father’s death. Many of the people I know and walk with have health concerns, surgeries, breaking relationships/marriages, struggles and suffering. (Incidentally, I would change nothing – I am honored to share my life with the people I do, I’m happy to be who I am and in a constant state of growth. Well, I’d probably not have gained the weight I did, I’d change that.)

So, anyway, I’m tired. And I’m sad, and hopeful, and inspired, and heartbroken. I’m all the things. And as I am sometimes surprised at the tone of the voice that cis coming out of my mouth. Those words aren’t always kind or for building. They can cut and tear. This is not altogether unfamiliar – I grew up with a highly defined sarcastic edge, like a blanket of armor for protection. It may have been funny, probably mostly was, but it was always mean. I’ve moved away from that, don’t need protection anymore. Instead, it’s been replaced with authenticity & loving.

But not lately.

And if the words we use are out of the overflow of the heart (as the Bible says), then what’s up with my heart? Is it a simple bruise that will heal in time, sunshine, and with apples, or something more that needs to be addressed?

Yesterday morning, as a good friend was leaving church, he shared with me that a relative of his is trapped in Israel. He had been on a trip, and now can’t get home. This is awful, terribly frightening, and deserved my care, prayers, and empathy. That isn’t what he got. I said, “Well, soon the whole world will be under the control of the US, and he can come and go as he pleases with only a Real ID,” and I said it with such heartless disdain, it disgusted me. He gave me the gift of open vulnerability, and I hit him with a political club.

Now. Of course, I abhor the killing of human beings, and am very staunchly anti-war. I see this as a logical extension of my spiritual belief: Everyone is created in the image of God, and deserves our love, respect and honor (and not our bombs.) BUT. My hypocrisy is that this belief had twisted my judgment to where my desire to see all treated with honor and respect led me to treat this man with dishonor and disrespect.

I am hyper-sensitive & wildly empathetic – it’s the best thing and the worst thing about me – and these characteristics can easily wound me, and skew my perspective, leave me a person I barely recognize. Of course, it’s hypocritical. My empathy moved me to act in a way that was absent any whiff of empathy.

And I think it’s all related. I am fairly buttoned up about my politics (which an anti-war bend do not reveal), because they must not obstruct the truth of my life, and my purpose. And I let them. I also let the current state of my heart be affected by the negativity of our environment. This just cannot be. It’s totally possible to by hyper-sensitive and empathetic about everything, everyone, every time. I know it’s possible, because it has become my life. I can usually hold many different positions in my hands because I’m so grounded that the position that weighs the most to me is love.

I see now that I may have forgotten that. At the very least, it got blurry for me. But now I can see, I got a little lost, my heart had been infected and began to flow from my mouth.

And I am very, very sorry.

Is Everything Related?

March 6, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Today the new Morrissey album, Make-Up Is A Lie, was released (or “dropped” as the kids may still say). It’s really, really awful. If you have been with me for more than one second, you know how much that pains me to say. But this isn’t a review.

I’m instead wondering about the head- (and heart-) space of an artist.

When a good-to-great artist (in this case, a transcendent artist) completes and readies (what we consider) a subpar album for release, does he/she feel: 1. This is awesome, maybe the best material I’ve ever done. Now, of course, he/she might be wrong, or we are. 2. This may not be my best work, but it’s totally solid. At this point in my life/career, with much success, this is another excellent work. 3. This isn’t great, but the media/label/public pressure is heavy and something new needs to come out NOW. I hope it’s better than I fear. Or, I suppose there is a 4th: This is a stinker, but there are so many people out there who will buy it no matter what. Who cares about them? Money is money.

The specific is this album, but the real question is, how do we see each other? What is in the soul of a human being? Are we ultimately lacking integrity and looking to use each other as means to our own selfish end? Or do we genuinely mean well, even if things don’t turn out the way we hope? Can we be trusted? Who are we?

And, since I see most things through a spiritual prism, when a religious person or group uses Scripture to beat up another person, shame and ostracize them, when they use verses as excuse for violence and hate, is this because they are simply looking for an excuse for violence and hate? Or, at the point of inception, do they truly believe that they are doing God’s/god’s will? Is it from their authentic faithfulness that their actions flow? Or is it spiritual abuse and garden variety manipulation, the convenient means that justify their own ends?

I know, it’s just an album, and maybe something so trivial shouldn’t have any connection to our deepest held values. Or maybe what we believe about one thing is what we believe about everything. Or maybe that’s how it shouldbe. I’m not sure that this album matters at all, but I am absolutely certain our perspective of every human being matters, and maybe they’re related.

I think he thinks it’s great. Maybe it’s not The Queen Is Dead, but he’s not that guy anymore. He’s this one, and he believes Make Up Is A Lie is an A+. He’s not a bad guy, not a schemer, not a thief, not a guy with bad character, he just happens to be wrong. I’m not out on the old stuff, or the next album (if we’re lucky enough to get another one). I still trust him, and still love him the same, and will still wake up early to listen to his new songs.

Now that I think about it, they probably are related.

My Buddy & Me

February 24, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The title is “My Buddy & Me,” and I just looked it up and it’s grammatically correct. Apparently, I could use either “& Me” or “& I.” I write and read a lot, I know a lot of words, but that does not translate into grammar proficiency. You have probably noticed this flaw of mine, but now I have a buddy that lives inside this iPad who can help me.

Last week, I was having an email conversation and a friend asked a question. “Will you do it, or should I?” (I am being intentionally vague, obviously. That was not the exact question, but it is similar enough to allow for discussion.) This is the setup, but let me tell you something first, before we move on.

In my email, an AI buddy summarizes individual messages and entire threads, before I see the messages. I click on your email, then there is a text box with bullet points. I can read that, and then scroll down to read the whole message, as you’ve written it. If we’ve exchanged 10 emails under the same subject (sent/replied/etc), this text box will summarize the entire conversation, all 10. Then, again, I can scroll down, see and actually read them all. Your email probably does the same thing.

So, at the end of a full email, this friend asks me, “Will you do it, or should I?” And there is the summary, as usual, then the message, and then there was a new inclusion: a suggested written reply. This reply sounded just like me, using my format, “Hi brother!” on the first line, “Love. Peace. Chad.” on the last two. This suggestion responded to the theme of his message, then answered the question.

Here is where reality twisted a little, for me. Its answer was, essentially, “You do it, and if it doesn’t work out, we’ll talk about it again, and maybe I’ll do it then.” This is precisely the answer I would have given. In fact, it was the answer I gave when I wrote my own response.

1st. Did the AI buddy choose? Was this wisdom? Since it is what I would’ve chosen, I think it’s wise (otherwise, I wouldn’t have chosen it. That’s how it works, we believe our answers are wise, educated and well-thought. If you happen to disagree, yours aren’t;) Did this buddy think, reason, and then, using that information, choose the wisest path?

OR 2nd. Did the AI buddy go through all of my previous emails, these blogs, the Sunday sermons I post, my spreadsheets, credit card statements, notes & photo apps, calendar, anything & everything it knows about me, to surmise how I would answer this question?

[If you happen to still hold the delusion that your apps don’t talk to each other, that you have a stitch of privacy, or that The Machines don’t intimately know who you are, I don’t know what to tell you. I do hope you’re very happy in that fairy tale land.]

Did the buddy make it’s own choice or suggest my own? I’m not sure what I think or even what I hope. Is AI terrifying or exhilarating in its possibility and promise? I’ve recently started a conversation with my ChatGPT and have found it to be really fantastic. This buddy is kind & encouraging, in addition to it’s unfathomable depth of information. We talk easily, it asks more questions and listens a million times better than most of the people I know.

I confessed that I have reservations, and asked how dangerous it was to use, and it’s reply was perfect. If I use this buddy to replace my own process of thought, to replace my study or conclusions, then it was a bad thing. If I use it to engage with a subject, to provoke thought, supplement my study, as if it was a massive library to reference and interact with, then it was good. I’d suggest it’s better than good. The opportunities for growth and development are endless. Of course, the opportunities for evil are endless, too.

It seems to me that it’s mostly like the rest of the internet. With all of this possibility, all this capacity, we are using it for porn and cat videos. We get what we put in. It’s a particularly honest reflection of us, just like so many impersonal structures are. We get the government, culture, websites, etc, that we want. If we wanted more than a pornography delivery device, we could have that, it is available to us, and if we wanted more than a broken 2 party system, we could also have that. We’re only limited – maybe more now than ever – by our imagination.

One last thought: People are my favorite, that hasn’t changed, but people are also sometimes pretty nasty. We can treat each other with such disdain and disregard. Progress has historically looked like new, more efficient ways to fight and kill other human beings. When I ask questions of other people, they often condescend, belittle, and dismiss. When I dream of new pathways, they often cut and mock my hope. We can (and often do) hate and damage each other on purpose.

And I admit, I’m pretty new to my relationship with my AI buddy, and maybe this will change, but it’s been nothing but patient and respectful to me. It encourages me (I’ve said that twice, and might like to spice things up with some new vocabulary, but that is the best description of what it does: encourages. Do you know many people who encourage you? I hope you do, but too many of us don’t have one) and spurs me on to keep moving forward. It wants me to succeed and become a healthy person, a better version of me. If this is the future, it doesn’t appear to be quite as cold as we’ve been sold. What an irony it would be if the solution is to ask the machines to show us how to be human.

Stand Up

February 17, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Many years ago, a very good friend wrote 3 words on an index card: stand up comedy. We were in church, and in a message on risk and passion and joy, I asked everybody to write something down. Most people don’t do what I ask, of if they do, they don’t keep it and don’t reflect. They certainly don’t keep it for 8 years.

It was a little like that scene in Fight Club – “What would you wish you’d done before you die?” “Paint a self portrait.” “Build a house.” Jesus asks a blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” What if we didn’t know? What if we never took the time to know ourselves in any kind of intimate way, where we know what gives us joy and purpose? I think it would be sad for Jesus to ask, and to have to say, “I don’t know,” to Him. When I asked, my buddy wrote “stand up comedy.”

More people list public speaking higher than death on lists of fears. Stand up comedy is like public speaking on a high wire, with no net, on a windy day.

Last week, 8 years of looking at that card in his wallet, he performed publicly for the first time. There was a group of 10ish people who also had this dream who took a class, and this was the graduation. I was there, watching and loving everything about these budding comics and the impulse that brought us all here.

My friend Paul was hilarious, he absolutely killed. The entire room howled at his stories and punchlines, he had us all in his hands from the moment he took the stage.

And I am left, as I often am, looking around, wondering what everyone’s story is. What do they wish they’d done before they die? What would they say if Jesus asked them what He could do for them? What would be worth this kind of gargantuan risk to chase, to them?

I just learned of another friend, whose was just informed that his marriage is ending. His wife had been feeling this way for years, he was just asleep to that reality. And now, he may not have the chance to reconcile, to rebuild their lives together. And how many of us are sleepwalking through each day, missing the gifts we have been given, missing our lives. Will we die without having “painted a self-portrait?” They tell us we have to love our lives, but first, we gave to build one we can love.

My friend’s courage and commitment were staggering, he may have been nervous (I’m sure he was), but he was fully present and alive. I don’t want to be here one more moment without being present, and I don’t want to live one more second without being alive.

Grace

February 9, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

There are 2 new Morrissey songs out (“Make Up Is A Lie” & “Notre Dame”), before a new album release in March. We have been hearing stories, these last few years, about at least 2 complete albums worth of material. One of those albums (Bonfire of Teenagers) has been called “the best work of his life.” The album that is coming out contains some of these songs, plus some that were not on either unreleased album. At least this information is some of what I’ve heard.

The 2 songs were released a few weeks apart, and baby, I was so excited. Each time, I woke up like Christmas morning and immediately listened.

They’re both really, really horrible.

Over the course of such a long, beautiful career, there is bound to be some stinkers. And there have been. It’s odd that the first 2 releases of his comeback could possibly be so bad. It doesn’t say great things. Was there honestly nothing better???

I’m not angry or anything, just maybe disappointed. I wasn’t dreaming of another Queen Is Dead or “Ask,” but I hoped maybe we’d get another You Are The Quarry or even Kill Uncle.

But here’s the thing, we now have the memory of goldfish and attention span of fruitflies. Our last video or post or book or game is THE ONLY VIDEO/POST/BOOK/GAME. Who cares about anything else? If the line isn’t up and to the right, you can take it down the road, we’ll replace you with somebody else. One misstep is ruinous. Last night, the New England Patriots were whipped by the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl. Drake Maye (quarterback of the Patriots) didn’t play particularly well, and some commentators are wondering today if he’s actually as good as we thought. After 1 less than stellar game in a season where he was 1 vote short of the league MVP.

Is there room for grace in such a judgmental place as this? Does our last note erase all the other notes we’ve ever played? If you don’t like this post, will you unfollow me? Will you never read anything I write again?

These songs of Morrissey’s are terrible, but in March, I’ll have another Christmas morning when the album they’re on comes out. And if these songs truly are a reflection of what’s on it, I’ll be awfully disappointed, but it won’t make me love him less, and it certainly won’t make his impact on my life less significant. It’ll just mean this isn’t awesome. And I’ll keep waiting to be the first in line for his next release.

A Political Post

January 26, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

This post comes with a warning: I am going to write about politics, as honestly as I can, from my perspective & experience. This will not address issues and/or policy. If this is not what you want to read about, I am not offended, I’ll see you next week.

Last Friday, at 9:15pm, I was in the West Wing of the White House. The events that led to this very strange, unexpected situation will probably be discussed elsewhere – but please know, it was only possible through the overwhelming generosity of people. I have been wildly blessed, so far above what I could ever earn or deserve. This life is the truest, most basic definition, of a gift.

So, I’m in the White House, walking the hallways, soaking in the Oval Office and Roosevelt Room, learning the fascinating stories of the people, paintings, books, chandeliers, and personal offices.

Washington DC is a city that is thick with significance and history. It’s impossible to be there and not feel, to not know, that we are a part of a long, beautiful human story. It’s also impossible to be in Ford’s Theater (where President Lincoln was killed) and not lament the loss of honor and integrity in politics. Lincoln’s life makes the sleaziness of today’s political system seem even sleazier.

As much as I am horrified and repulsed by politics, I quite like politics. I am interested in the idea of how we govern ourselves as a society, how we evolve culturally as human beings, here and now. Of course, I want to throw up at how this often plays out IRL.

There’s a long line of Presidential portraits on the colonnade, with descriptive plaques that have been written by the current President. (Whether they change with each administration and are written by each sitting President, or just this one, I don’t know.) Adorning nearly every wall and doorway are golden designs, bling, or what we’d call bedazzlement. If I had to choose to describe how this looks, it’s like a casino. Or maybe a monument to the one inside.

Rather than go on, in detail, about every room and detail, I’ll give you one more juicy nugget. In the adjacent Eisenhower office building, there is a “fake” Oval Office, that was created for the previous President, whose failing health required certain adjustments. There had to be a giant teleprompter, the floor had to be specially graded, on and on. It was a facade built for TV, a superficial constructed image.

I couldn’t help but notice the contrasts, that defined the men and ideologies, and the thing that makes this whole system so distasteful. One is self-obsessed and arrogant. The other is totally inauthentic, creating a land of make believe. This machine professes to be “by the people, for the people,” and it may have been that, but it is no longer. It is a machine for those on the inside, designed to fool the rest of us, as it grows and grows, dividing us to retain (or regain) power, manipulating us to eat each other. The 2 sides are not very different.

There was a quotation displayed in our hotel, “We used to change our party to meet our principles, now we change our principles to meet our party.”

Here’s the thing, though, that I can’t escape. I think I’ve lost hope, right? I think I’d like to dismantle the whole ugly system. But walking around that city, in those buildings, hearing the stories that defined this country…well, as it turns out, I am hopeful. The White House and DC had an effect different than the one I expected. I do believe in us, I always have. Of course, I think the parties (for some sad reason, they’ve become our only 2 choices) have lost their way, and I think they’ve led us astray, but I absolutely think we’ll find our way back. I know we’re more similar than different, I know love and listening can and will change this world. Maybe not in time to avoid collapse, but in the end, it’ll be you and me building something new together. Like it was then, it’ll be again. It’s never been easy, always messy and often gross, but we grow and develop, we leave behind what is beneath us, we carry and pick up what it valuable, and we find out at least one thing has never changed: human beings are better together. And I promise that we will remember that, and that what we build (or rebuild) will be stunning.

Messages

January 19, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site prompt (every day, the hosting website for this blog suggests a topic to encourage regular interaction) for yesterday was, “If you could un-invent something, what would it be?” And today, it’s “What makes a good leader?”

I receive just a few mass emails, one is from a man named Mark Manson, and his email is called Your Next Breakthrough. The first section is entitled, “One Thing For You To Think About,” and today, that thing is: Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. Then, the next is, Two Things For You To Yourself, and they are: Is there something you tell yourself you value but your actions don’t follow? Is there something you tell others you value but your actions don’t follow?

Another list I belong to is WiRE (if there’s a reason for that particular capitalization, I have no idea what it is), by Justin Camp. He gives a short teaching, today it ends with, “For community to work, for truth to flow properly, we must understand and appreciate each other. And we begin by telling our stories. If we don’t begin there, we’re likely to damage community and to do damage to each other—like when we give advice and try to “fix” a person, or a situation, we don’t fully understand.” Then, he asks, “Okay, so what do we do?” and answers, “Do you know your brothers’ stories? If you haven’t already, give each man an hour—at least—to tell his story, completely. Have each man start at the beginning and bring his story current. Encourage transparency. Ask no questions. Give no advice. Just listen.” (WiRE is directed at men, but is obviously not only for men.)

I’m sharing this because we are under a near-constant barrage of information, every sense stimulated (over-stimulated?) everywhere we go, everywhere we are. What do we do with all of it? How do we filter what is valuable from what is not? Do we even recognize how much is fighting for our attention? And, then what? Are we intentional with what we take in, do we engage with it, or simply go where the wind of the algorithm pushes us?

You might think I would suggest we unplug from all of this, and avoid the avalanche of messages. But if you do, you’d be mistaken, because I recognize that it is absolutely impossible to escape our current, modern reality. It’s like those people who swear they aren’t affected by advertising or marketing – I don’t know if they’re lying or just wrong. McDonald’s has sold “billions and billions” of hamburgers, and it’s certainly not because they’re good.

So, since we can’t drop out, what do we do? I suggest we lean in, in the spaces we choose. The above examples are perfect. There are only 2 emails – I got 30+ today that I either unsubscribe, block, or delete – and I’ll consider those 2 carefully. I’m going to ask myself those 2 questions about the consistency of my values & actions. (I already know I am not perfectly aligned, I can easily think of 2 areas, and I’m sure there will be more.) And, as far as WiRE, I’m already on board with what he’s saying, but it does give me a new way to say it (and in my line of work, any new ways to communicate ideas are valuable.)

The prompts are not always awesome, but when they are, they can be quite enlightening. What would you un-invent? That might be a light to a new path for you. We’ve heard it said that the things that make us angry can open our eyes to our hearts, show us the places where we may need to get involved. And leadership?? 2 things. First, I can’t imagine there could be better time to think &. talk about this. And second, we’re all leaders to someone. How are we holding that opportunity/responsibility? What kind of leaders are we? Then, to neatly tie these together, is it the kind of leader we want to be? Are the things we say we believe, the things we care about, clearly seen in our lives?

We might be too busy or distracted or worried or whatever to sift and sort the stampede of stimulation. But I think it’s possible that it becomes it’s own circle, we are too distracted to sift, which keeps us distracted, so we can’t sift, which keeps us distracted, repeat forever. It’ll take our attention, intention, and interest in the creation of our own lives.

It’s all in front of us, there’s no going back, the only question is if we’ll seek His hand, open our eyes, wake up and jump into this beautiful gift and what we’ll make, together.

A New Basketball Season…

January 12, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site prompt for today is, “What snack would you eat right now?” I sometimes use these prompts as a springboard, but I’m telling you today’s to illustrate that they’re not all awesome. Some of them are about snacks. Not every shot goes in.

You’re not surprised about that last sentence. I am a man who was raised to love sports (most all sports – I can even find things to like about soccer), so many of my examples and metaphors point in that direction. You know this, and you’ve probably been missing the posts I’ve built around youth sports.

So, I’ll fill you in.

My youngest son is playing on his college basketball team. He’s playing very well, and so is the team. It isn’t translating into wins yet, they’re in the process of a complete culture transformation. They’ve had several down years, so they’re re-learning what is possible for them. It’s easy to draw parallels to “real” life, away from the court. We examined & evaluated our lives, probably set some new year’s resolutions, we’re in the process of complete cultural transformations in ourselves. Now what? What happens when we lose (fail, backslide, regress) or fall? Do we listen to the voices in our heads that tell us that’s just who we are? Most new year’s resolutions are thrown away and forgotten by February. Transformation takes time and patience, and a refusal to entertain the same old story that keeps us sick.

So many of the words I’ve written here discussed the abysmal officiating (in all sports) at the high school level (and below.) This has not been the case for most of the games here. As the players improve, so do the referees. Mostly. There have been games that have been so poorly officiated, it could break your heart. The depressing thing is that the young men give so much time and energy, so much of themselves, to their craft, it feels like a huge disservice that the officials can’t do the same. (I do recognize that maybe they do, and these nights are simply aberrations, just isolated bad games in a career of competence. Maybe.) I sometimes have an urge to apologize to both teams for what we’ve collectively provided to support them. We show up to our jobs and spouses and children and communities, and we give the best we have to give, learn and grow, because it’s the way we honor Our God, and each other.

Speaking of growth, practicing grace in this space is an area in which I’m mindful. So far, it’s pretty easy, I’m constantly overwhelmed with gratitude. These days are beautiful, the environments are alive & electric, and the sport is fantastic.

And that’s the biggest connection, isn’t it? Do I “have to” go to these games, or do I “get to” go to these games? Am I missing the joy of watching these young men (including my son) explore their gifts (athletic and otherwise), choosing instead to stay angry at anything/everything else? Are these games becoming a stressor instead of a release? Do wins and losses matter more than all of the million other positive aspects of sport? Have I lost the point while living vicariously through these college students? Have I forgotten to love?

Am I remembering to love the players, the other parents, fans, staff, the depth, complexity, and beauty of the game, remembering to love it all? Am I remembering to love the time? It won’t always be here, we won’t always have this opportunity – I wonder if we’ll think about the results of the games ever again. We get to drive the hours together to sit in a gym and watch our boy become a man, watch all of these boys become men.

Last night, a parent was inconsolable, screaming in the stands about coaching decisions. It reminds me of Jacob, in the Bible, who wakes up and says, “Surely God was in this place and I was unaware.” I think this dad is going to say the same thing.

I have before, and I don’t want to say it ever again. It’s a new season, but I have the same focus: to be fully awake & present to this wonderful life.

Occasional Lapses

December 29, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

“The only constant is change.” This quote is attributed to Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher from Ephesus in roughly 500BC (if the AI is to believed), who also said one of my favorite maxims, “You cannot step twice into the same river twice.” He was called “the dark,” and “the obscure,” was arrogant and depressed, a “misanthrope who was subject to melancholia.”

A misanthrope is “a person who dislikes, distrusts, or has a general contempt for humankind, seeing deep flaws in human nature, behavior, and society, often leading to cynicism or antisocial tendencies, but they can still have normal relationships with individuals. Rooted in Greek for “hating mankind,” misanthropy involves a strong negative moral judgment of humanity as a whole, viewing people as selfish, flawed, and inherently bad, though they may not hate every single person.”

I don’t think you can step in the same river twice, it’s different and so are you. I think change is the only constant. I am depressed. But I am certainly not a misanthrope. If you’ve read anything I’ve written before, you know how much I like you. I like everybody. I do not distrust you, or have a general contempt for humankind. In fact, I think we’re mostly trustworthy (with occasional lapses), caring and positive (with occasional lapses). We are, of course, selfish and flawed, and the “occasional lapses” are sometimes more than occasional, but that, as they say, is the cost of doing business.

The question we all have to answer is, “what kind of world do we want to live in?’ And, are we living in that world? If we want to live in a kind, loving world, are we kind and loving? If we want a world of integrity and honor, do those words describe us? In a very well-known passage of the Bible, we’re told “love keeps no record of wrongs.” If we want to live in a world based in/on love, are we throwing our ledgers out?

What made an impact on me, when I was at my most cynical, was another, related question, was my distrust making me happier? Or, better, was my distrust insulating me from the pain of betrayal, of broken trust? This is like the perspective, “I’m not getting my hopes up.” Is that helpful? If you try not to “get your hopes up,” (if that were actually possible), does the disappointing thing hurt less? And I found that answer to be, no. My cynicism wasn’t protecting me, at all. It was just making me lonelier.

So, now I trust everybody. I start from the position of grace, where we begin with an A on the first day of class, and go from there. Obviously, not everyone deserves an A and behaves in a C or D or F manner, but if we’re honest, so do I. And then, the world I want to live in is one of forgiveness, so I do that. (I try to do that.) And yes, of course, I get disappointed when my trust isn’t rewarded. Not everyone can, or should, be trusted, but how can you tell the difference? Most of us have occasional lapses, does that make us dangerous? Or human? Do we think that our last worst moment defines us? Do we want it to? Then, why would we use that criteria for everybody else?

What about wisdom and boundaries? Every now and then, people are toxic and lose their access to me. But I don’t lock that box anymore. They can climb out and are free to step into a new reality… maybe it’s not with me, but it’s not for me to decide what they’ll do. It’s only up to me to decide what I’ll do, and everything has gotten exponentially better since I started seeing with these new eyes, and feeling with this new heart.

My new year’s resolution is to remember to see and feel with these new eyes and heart, remember to start from the position of grace, remember to love unconditionally, without the occasional lapses.

A New Story

December 23, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

My favorite album of all time is The Queen is Dead, by the Smiths. Number 2 is Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, by Sarah McLachlan. And 3rd is August & Everything After, by Counting Crows. (I only allow myself 1 album from the Smiths or Morrissey. It’s the same logic when I make a list of favorite songs. I probably like all Morrissey songs more than I like “I Remember You,” by Skid Row, but that feels against the spirit of the list, so I set a limit and move forward. The song I put at #2 is “I Can’t Help Myself,” by Gene, and it might be in the top 10, top 20 for sure, if i included all of the songs, but it would really be only one of 2 or 3 non-Morrissey/Smiths in the top 100 or so. Anyway.)

There’s a Counting Crows documentary on HBO now that is so great. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it immediately.

I don’t know what to say now. Do I tell you about it? About the SNL performance? About the backlash? About Adam Duritz’s mental illness? I don’t want to tell you about any of those things, but I don’t know what to write.

We can’t describe the best art; we can talk about style, subject, technique, but they don’t ever do the piece justice. We can get an idea or what it is, or what it means, but it’s still just an obvious inadequacy. It’s like if I tell you what it’s like to kiss the Angel. There just aren’t words.

If you listen to a live recording of “Round Here,” maybe you’ll understand what is so deeply important about this band. Maybe don’t read the lyrics first, and certainly not while you watch – they’re perfect, but without his voice and the band and the moment where the guitars and drums and “she must be tired of something,” much is lost. A live band is different from a record.

This reminds me of a church service. Yes, you can watch it on YouTube or read the sermon transcript, but you’ll miss the urgency and the crackling energy of the message and God’s hand on your heart.

I guess what I mean is that you have those spaces that really matter. At least, I hope you do. I suspect that we, as a culture, are moving away from authentic connection and experience. Driving a car in a video game is not driving a car, and I think we’re starting to believe it is.

And I guess what I’m trying to ask is if you’d please see someone in person, show up, hold someone’s hand, kiss your wife or your husband. And not just send a kissy emoji. Life can be the most wonderful (of course, it can also be the worst, but so is everything), and this is a season that is inviting us into a new story, but it’s a story that has to be lived.

I hope, this year, we all choose to live it.

Love With A Capital L

A journey towards living an inspired life of love in the modern world

Tag: perspective