2026-03-30T23:06:25+00:00

2 Movies

March 30, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/1 Comment

Last night, the Angel and I decided we’d watch a movie. She likes romantic comedies, love stories, and I like her, so that’s what we watch. (She also doesn’t want to watch too often, so I always get to choose what’s on tv.) But what to watch that’s not vapid and awful??? It’s a process, as you probably know, and we scroll and scroll.

We landed on It’s Complicated, with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin as exes…I guess that’s about all I know for sure. In the first 15 minutes, Baldwin cheats on his new wife with Streep (whom he first cheated on to destroy the marriage.) I am not the mayor of Prude City. However, as I get older, there are plot devices that are too heartbreaking to be effective as plot devices for me. Sexual assault in any form is a deal breaker. I can’t even watch 300 again (and that’s a very quality super-stylish and super-violent epic that I once liked) because there’s a scene that I simply can’t stomach. No sexual violence, non-negotiable. Adultery, it seems, is now another one that is proving hard to take, certainly in a comedy, as if it’s just another pratfall or punch line. Maybe I’ve seen too much wreckage and cried too many tears.

I don’t know if they end up together, if he leaves his current trophy wife and goes back, or what, because we turned it off to get a snack and never went back. Instead, we watched something called Look Both Ways. This was about a woman in a Sliding Doors-esque situation, where her life hung on one moment in which she took a pregnancy test: In one future, it is negative. In another, positive.

I found Sweet Home Alabama an interesting surprise, for only one reason. The man Reese Witherspoon was engaged to that she ultimately left, was McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey), a good man, totally respectful and kind to her at every turn. The love interest was a huge jerk, and she made the wrong choice, 100%.

This Look Both Ways was surprising in the same kind of way. The 2 romantic leads were the new Superman, David Corenswet, and the new MCU Falcon, Danny Ramirez. The main character has a best friend, parents, and a boss. The dad was Luke Wilson. I mention all of the men because they were so exceptional, as characters. None of them are no-integrity cads. None of them behave in the abysmal way in which boys are too often depicted.

It’s become pretty common to watch and listen to really negative depictions of human beings, and the lives we make, and sometimes fall into, and call it real life. Breaking Bad is supposed to be real life. Antiheroes are the rage. We think villains are more layered and interesting, but as it turns out, they’re not.

Look Both Ways carries conflict, hurt, confusion, and there are bad decisions, but the people remain…well, I guess there’s no other word to use than good. The people remain good. They don’t always do the good or right thing, and some of the things they do drive me crazy, some are self-destructive, some are immature, but we understand why they did them. They’re not mean spirited or immoral or violent or even particularly selfish.

They’re just real. They are all of the people I know. They’re trying to move forward, to make themselves happy, proud, satisfied, trying to find their purpose and someone to love. They’re trying to take the next best step, and sometimes they fail at that, but they keep trying. They’re actually the real ones, the slice of life we find far more often. They’re the ones we trust, that sometimes hurt us, but never because they decide to hurt us, but just because we sometimes do. They’re the ones trying to help, trying to take care of their neighbors, opening themselves and loving themselves and others despite the possibility (inevitability) of pain.

Sometimes we find treasure in the strangest places. Superhero movies can be more honest than documentaries. And sometimes, a silly rom-coms is the most accurate portrayer of truth going.

I don’t know what happened with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep (2 of the finest actors ever on screen), and their excellent director and great cast and pedigree of a fantastic film, and I don’t care at all. It’s the other one, with its positivity and hope for us, that matters. I really, really loved it.

Weather?

March 23, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

What is my favorite kind of weather, the site wants to know. They’re not all great, right? You would be hard pressed to find a less interesting way to spend your writing/reading time. But then, this morning, one of the email lists I subscribe to sent these thoughts & questions (with the title “Do you wish life was different?”):

“Your life simply reflects what you’ve prioritized…What does your life tell you about your priorities? Do you wish it were different?”

We talk about values & the Biblical concept of weight (as in, what weighs more, observing the Sabbath or pulling your donkey out of a hole?) often. We discuss the foundations on which we build our lives. What do you believe about God, the world & yourself? And would your actions testify to those answers, or would they be a jarring contradiction?

This email doesn’t come from an espoused Christian, but it certainly asks a question that is inherently “Christian.” You have this wonderful gift of life, how will you spend it? What is important to you?

After I fell in love with Jesus, there were months where I didn’t open my Bible, where my fingers didn’t touch the spine, where it just sat on my bedside table collecting dust. But I would’ve absolutely told you that the Scriptures were very important to me. That’s just one of many hypocrisies that had to be addressed, before I could comfortably state that consistency was one of my core values. If it’s so important to me that you know what you’ll be getting from me, that I am authentically me all the time, that the principles I hold would be in the same room at a party, then I have to do quite a bit of work to honestly look at my thoughts, actions, motivations. I have to constantly examine myself in the harsh light of the mirror. It has been terribly frightening to confront the possibility that my boys and the Angel (the 3 who live in my house and know me the best) would not recognize the preacher at the Bridge. Would they hear me speak about the importance of the Bible and never have seen me read it? Would they hear me talk about honoring our spouses, while I am cutting and disrespectful to my own wife? Judgment, generosity, etc. I don’t know if you know, but we regularly read 1 Corinthians 13 on Sunday mornings, what if I am neither patient nor kind? What sort of example is that? Am I a Pharisee? I mean, yes, of course I am, but am I growing? Am I on the path, following Jesus? Is my life one marked by love?

We all have these spaces that confront – let’s call them invitations. That sounds much less aggressive, doesn’t it? Would we put family at number 1 but haven’t made it home for dinner in weeks, and haven’t spoken to my parents since last Christmas? Is eating right or exercise a “value” of ours, when we haven’t seen the gym lately and don’t remember the last time we’ve eaten a vegetable? Do we say we love our church community, while we don’t really go? Is giving an important discipline, but it’s often the first thing to get cut? Do we say we “love like Jesus,” but we really hate our enemies? It’s endless, and each example we give might hit a little too close to home. (Of course, the rub is: we would have to be willing to tell the truth, to and about ourselves. That’s where this can so easily break down.)

This emailer – Mark Manson – asks what our lives tell us about our priorities, and do we wish it was different? Do we wish we were more present? More faithful? More loving, caring, thoughtful? Do we wish our marriages were stronger, our families closer? Do we wish we were more responsible with our money, our time, our calories? Do we wish we were more mindfully enjoying the blessings in our lives?

I’ve been saying “more” and “better,” but that’s not the only thing we wish, right? Are we overwhelmed? Do we wish our calendars were less full? That we were less busy and distracted all the time?

What do all of these factors and characteristics say about our lives? Easter is such a great season to evaluate what goes into our hearts and lives. The resurrection is the best time to ask what we truly believe is possible. Where does the empty tomb fit into our priorities? If we answered yes to any of my own questions, do we trust that we can set a new course? That who we are right now might not be who we will be, that we just might not be done growing yet?

Easter is a time of intense hope… do we believe that? Does the way we live our lives affirm that theology? Probably not, but what better time could there possibly be to transform than right now???

Blue Paint

March 19, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site is asking what one word describes me…One word I want to describe me? Or the one that actually does? I think this is the kind of thing that is best left for others to answer. Maybe I’ll ask the Angel. Or maybe I don’t want to know.

I have a steel hot/cold cup (the brand is Bubba) and I fill and refill it with ice and water all day every day. I fill it before I go to bed, put it in the fridge and drink it first thing in the morning. It’s several years old and the blue paint on it is flaking all over the place. It’s on my hands, in the dish water, the cup holders in the car, the kitchen counter, everywhere. You will always know where I’ve been.

This morning I was talking with my brother in law about influence. With the avalanche of information/stimulation that we encounter, there’s no way it wouldn’t influence us. Even the way we access this information is an influence. Marshall McLuhan wrote a book called The Medium Is The Message, and I can’t help but notice how our language has transformed. We speak in text fragments, accurate spelling is a relic of a time long past, our metaphors and references are often technologically based, we are forever changed by the internet & social media. The algorithms and AI buddies on our devices can shape us in the same way advertising always has. (Maybe not the same way – they’re likely much more effective.) We’re influenced by the videos, books, voices we choose, as well as the lenses we use through which we see the world. Our experiences, opinions, beliefs and interpretations are a complex web.

I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. It just needs to be an intentional thing. The days where we could delude ourselves into the notion that we can avoid any of this are long, long past. Indifference, not choosing, is simply not an option.

We need to know where we’re picking up the blue paint that’s helping to color us. And in the same way, we should acknowledge what kind of paint chips we’re leaving on others. Maybe we could start to decide what we are influenced by, what kinds of colors are mixing into our own. Maybe that’s the difference between an ugly random mess and a beautifully varied mosaic.

The world is an increasingly terrifying place. The machines will probably make us their slaves in no time, if we even leave a world for them to usurp. Maybe we’ll destroy ourselves in our mad desire to destroy each other long before the Matrix can become reality (assuming it hasn’t already.)

But I’ve always believed in the original goodness of people – that the story begins in Genesis 1, where humans are made in the image of a wonderfully loving, creative God, and not the catastrophic fall of Genesis 3. Yes, it’s terrifying, but the road in front of us hasn’t been paved, not yet. We can reclaim our creativity and build a new tomorrow, and we can reclaim our nature of love and do it together. Whether we think we can or can’t has probably been influenced to a greater degree than we’d ever imagine by the kinds of paint we’ve gotten on and in our skin. Maybe it’s time to choose that paint.

[Upon further consideration, maybe my one word is hopeful. Very, very hopeful.]

Scamanda

January 30, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

“What do you complain about the most?” That’s what the site wants to know. I’ll tell you, it’s an easy answer.

I watched a documentary this week on Hulu, called “Scamanda,” about a woman in California, super spiritual, super inspirational, and her fight with cancer. Except, of course, as you can tell from the title, the cancer was fake. She pretended to be suffering to steal people’s money. The doc was fine, easy and interesting, the kind where you just let the episodes run together. I guess it’s called binge watching. Thankfully, there are only 4 episodes, so it’s not too much of a time suck.

Now, to answer the site prompt, I complain about lies & liars, dishonesty, and inauthenticity the most.

Maybe this is because I care so deeply about relationship, and the only true obstacle to the beauty of connection is our bs. Or maybe I resent being marked as a fool, that I am so worthless I can’t be interacted with on the most basic human level. Or maybe I just don’t like when people are intentionally mean to each other. I don’t like when we manipulate or betray each other on purpose (we do enough of that accidentally, we don’t have to go out of our way to hurt each other.)

This woman created an entire existence – online, in church, in town, in the community – only to separate people from their money. I recognize that is reductive. It wasn’t “only.” I’m sure she was insecure and needed validation, needed to feel important, needed to distinguish herself. She was probably very mentally ill (instead of only a thief) to perpetrate such a vile act for so many years.

One of the most fascinating things was that this was able to continue primarily because almost no one could fathom someone lying about such a thing. That’s true. You couldn’t. And I like that about you. I like that she was right to assume that about us.

I just discovered that one I believed to be a close friend had been lying to me (looked me in the face and fed me one lie after another.) Was anything ever real? I have to assume not. It never occurred to me that any of the things he shared wouldn’t be true. This is not the best thing to discover. And it can change someone, make someone cynical, jaded, untrusting, closed.

It won’t do that to me, though, because in hindsight, even with a freshly broken heart, I like that about me. I like that he could assume I’d believe him, trust him. I did.

You see, I have been thinking about something I read. We create the world we want to live in by living that way now. I want to live in a world of kindness, so I am kind. Of trust and vulnerability. Of authenticity. Of love. So it is up to me and you to go first. We live as if that is how the world is, how we actually are. I don’t want to live in a world where we are suspicious of our neighbor/friend/family member/YouTuber with a cancer diagnosis. I don’t want to live in a world where I question everything my friends say. This is how we circulate our humanity. We believe in each other. We love, first, and invite everybody else to come along.

Yes, of course, this means we’ll get kicked by the psychos. And those kicks will hurt and we’ll never get used to them, it’ll be like the first time (shocking & vicious) every time. It’s part of becoming the revolution. We choose what to build, and they shouldn’t be able to change the blueprints.

Messages

January 19, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site prompt (every day, the hosting website for this blog suggests a topic to encourage regular interaction) for yesterday was, “If you could un-invent something, what would it be?” And today, it’s “What makes a good leader?”

I receive just a few mass emails, one is from a man named Mark Manson, and his email is called Your Next Breakthrough. The first section is entitled, “One Thing For You To Think About,” and today, that thing is: Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. Then, the next is, Two Things For You To Yourself, and they are: Is there something you tell yourself you value but your actions don’t follow? Is there something you tell others you value but your actions don’t follow?

Another list I belong to is WiRE (if there’s a reason for that particular capitalization, I have no idea what it is), by Justin Camp. He gives a short teaching, today it ends with, “For community to work, for truth to flow properly, we must understand and appreciate each other. And we begin by telling our stories. If we don’t begin there, we’re likely to damage community and to do damage to each other—like when we give advice and try to “fix” a person, or a situation, we don’t fully understand.” Then, he asks, “Okay, so what do we do?” and answers, “Do you know your brothers’ stories? If you haven’t already, give each man an hour—at least—to tell his story, completely. Have each man start at the beginning and bring his story current. Encourage transparency. Ask no questions. Give no advice. Just listen.” (WiRE is directed at men, but is obviously not only for men.)

I’m sharing this because we are under a near-constant barrage of information, every sense stimulated (over-stimulated?) everywhere we go, everywhere we are. What do we do with all of it? How do we filter what is valuable from what is not? Do we even recognize how much is fighting for our attention? And, then what? Are we intentional with what we take in, do we engage with it, or simply go where the wind of the algorithm pushes us?

You might think I would suggest we unplug from all of this, and avoid the avalanche of messages. But if you do, you’d be mistaken, because I recognize that it is absolutely impossible to escape our current, modern reality. It’s like those people who swear they aren’t affected by advertising or marketing – I don’t know if they’re lying or just wrong. McDonald’s has sold “billions and billions” of hamburgers, and it’s certainly not because they’re good.

So, since we can’t drop out, what do we do? I suggest we lean in, in the spaces we choose. The above examples are perfect. There are only 2 emails – I got 30+ today that I either unsubscribe, block, or delete – and I’ll consider those 2 carefully. I’m going to ask myself those 2 questions about the consistency of my values & actions. (I already know I am not perfectly aligned, I can easily think of 2 areas, and I’m sure there will be more.) And, as far as WiRE, I’m already on board with what he’s saying, but it does give me a new way to say it (and in my line of work, any new ways to communicate ideas are valuable.)

The prompts are not always awesome, but when they are, they can be quite enlightening. What would you un-invent? That might be a light to a new path for you. We’ve heard it said that the things that make us angry can open our eyes to our hearts, show us the places where we may need to get involved. And leadership?? 2 things. First, I can’t imagine there could be better time to think &. talk about this. And second, we’re all leaders to someone. How are we holding that opportunity/responsibility? What kind of leaders are we? Then, to neatly tie these together, is it the kind of leader we want to be? Are the things we say we believe, the things we care about, clearly seen in our lives?

We might be too busy or distracted or worried or whatever to sift and sort the stampede of stimulation. But I think it’s possible that it becomes it’s own circle, we are too distracted to sift, which keeps us distracted, so we can’t sift, which keeps us distracted, repeat forever. It’ll take our attention, intention, and interest in the creation of our own lives.

It’s all in front of us, there’s no going back, the only question is if we’ll seek His hand, open our eyes, wake up and jump into this beautiful gift and what we’ll make, together.

Kinds of People

December 1, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

In my line of work, I get the beautifully sacred opportunity to walk with many different people, in a vast sea of situations and experiences. At the same time, it is my favorite, and the worst, part of being human. I find myself wanting to help, giving time, energy, giving so much of myself to something in which I ultimately have zero control.

I have this theory, on how each of us approaches our own development/growth. (You should know, I love discussions like this: There are 2 kinds of people in the world, Beatles people and Stones people. Which one are you and why, what does that mean? Of course, it’s limited and overly simplistic, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t truth in it. So, as I go into this particular theory of mine, understand that this isn’t scientific in any way, unless you’d call the way I interpret my experience scientific…which, I suppose, you might. Who knows? Another thing: I believe growth is the natural inclination of everything, and anything that goes against this is uncomfortable because it’s fundamentally opposed to our creation.) Anyway, there are 4 kinds of people.

First, there are those who want to be coached. They like suggestion and direction. They want you to show them how to field a ground ball or hold a football. You can ask them to read a book or write in a journal or take 300 swings at a batting cage, and they will! This is the smallest group, of the first 3, by the way. They want to find a coach, and they are imminently teachable.

The second group is the largest, by a wide margin. These sojourners want to find the answer themselves. It is our business to create a safe space for them to ask and answer. They can brainstorm, try, rage, doubt, risk, be as wildly out there as they can, and they are able to wander. If you give them direction, maybe they will, but probably they won’t. They want to field a ground ball themselves. What they want is a padded room and the occasional guided question to explore themselves, to find themselves. They are motivated and will examine themselves, you are just there to allow their journey.

Next are those who DO NOT WANT TO GROW. I am here and here is where I’ll stay. If you give direction, like “read chapter 1 and we’ll talk about it,” they aren’t reading chapter 1. Let’s go field some ground balls… Nope. They say “I don’t know,” to nearly everything about themselves or their actions, and it’s true. They don’t, because it’s just too demanding to think about it. This often looks like regression, but it might only appear that way, because the world is moving forward, and THEY ARE NOT. Sometimes, they are aggressive in their complacency. Other times, they don’t care enough for aggression.

I said the 1st group was the smallest, and that’s mostly true. The fourth group is smaller, but since they’re monsters, they don’t count. Thankfully, there aren’t many of them. These people don’t want to grow, and they don’t want you to grow, either. They will sabotage and lie, anything they have to do to mislead you. This group exists in everything. They are dangerous and should be avoided until they are no longer so nasty and bent on everyone’s ruin.

Maybe there aren’t 4 kinds of people. Instead, there’s probably just one, and we move from group to group, depending on the circumstance and season. (Except the last, hopefully.) Sometimes, we’ll want a coach. Others, a space. And yet other times, we just want life and any sort of invitation or responsibility to LEAVE US ALONE. The only reason my silly theory is important is to know how to love each other on our separate paths, and contribute to each other’s discovery process without driving ourselves mad with frustration in the process.

Yes, this is just me writing. It feels different from the usual format these posts take, but it’s helpful to “talk through things out loud” to organize these thoughts, and figure out if they are really what you think and/or believe. This is my “safe space” to run.

Incidentally, as you can easily guess, I am a Beatles man, and it’s not close. I’m willing to listen to those who say The Rolling Stones aren’t ridiculously, hilariously overrated, but they’re wrong.

Do I?

November 12, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

This is a post I wrote for my other website (bridgefaithcommunity.com). It’s a specifically, explicitly spiritual blog – very little full posts on Morrissey or the MCU. I am sharing it here, exactly as it appears there, because both sites have different circles of readers, and I want to share it with you, too. I am on a path, and I am grateful for this path. Maybe you’ll understand and like it. Here you go:

I behaved abysmally this morning. Now, what exactly happened isn’t important, but that it happened is. Poor behavior mostly all comes from the same place, and I am no different. I read a book that suggested that those times when we get ourselves into trouble stem from a clever acronym of emotional states: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, And T (I don’t remember what the T stands for…Tired!! That’s it!). HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I am currently a combination of all of those, and the book used its clever acronym to ask us to halt, instead of making a mess. I did not halt; I made a mess.

[I hesitate to write this post, because it’s very possible to read these posts and miss the meaning. I am not fishing for encouragement, do not need cheering up. This is different from reading a post written by someone you don’t know personally. You are beautiful, you deeply care for me, and may feel concern. I am ok. I would reach out, if that were not the case. This is not simply an overshare, I do have a specific reason for writing, and oversharing just provides the context;) You’ll see why I am ok, at the very end. Now.]

I do not behave abysmally very often, anymore. Honestly, this morning was wildly out of character, surprising me and the other involved parties. It is not a lifestyle, I didn’t recognize myself at all. It was an embarrassing momentary catastrophe, and will have virtually no long-them effects (except in my own head & heart).

That’s not an excuse – I have no excuses, and don’t need any. But it is important, because how we respond to ourselves and our actions depends on if it is a sin, or a lifestyle of sin. Did we fall in a hole, or are we choosing to jump in that hole and live there? I fell. Now what?

Sometimes, we encounter mirrors that contain an important question about our beliefs and values. We say we believe these things, do we really? Do I?

If you were to relay the same story to me, if our roles were completely reversed, I would tell you how loved you are. I would not judge, I would acknowledge the punishment you had already inflicted on yourself, recognize your contrite repentance, immediately forgive, and encourage you to give you a break and move forward. I would do all of these things, because I whole-heartedly believe Romans 8, that there’s no condemnation in Christ Jesus, that God takes our sins as far as the east is from the west, and remembers them no more. I think He accepts our repentance with joy, seeing growth and a heart that wants to beat for Him (even if it sometimes can’t help to beat for itself, with disastrous consequences.) And I think He asks us to love each other in the same way. I would recognize the roots (the HALT situation) and try to address those, together.

I believe those same truths apply to me, too. That is my theology. And when I come upon this mirror of conviction that asks if my theology is my application, is my practice, I wonder what my answer is. Do I? And do I so much that I would continue to work to undo an entire lifetime whipping myself with my self-loathing. When faced with cracks in my character, can I have grace for me, too? Are they actually cracks, at all? Can I move forward as a new creation, forgiven from my human fragility, and made holy, in Him?

The mess I made took about 5 minutes, beginning to end, but it only took 3 seconds to be sorry about it. Right at the start. The rest of the 5 minutes was an apology and explanation, an attempt to halt, call timeout and come back in to shore, back home.

The lie says that the mess is me, and the rest of my whole life is the illusion, a construct that was bound to fall at some point, that I could only fake for so long, and the real me would eventually emerge. The truth is that these holes we all fall in, from time to time, do not change our identity. I am not perfect, I was never supposed to be. I am a work in progress, He is transforming me every moment, every day.

It’s sometime an attack to our ego to admit that we are still becoming, that we have not arrived, that we don’t have it all perfectly together. But, attack or not, it’s true. So now what? What do we do?

I knew what I would do, and as I ran to Him by opening my Bible, I read a short line on Hezekiah in the book of Isaiah. A foreign power threatened him and his people, and he was afraid. (That was the lie he heard, all lies aren’t the same for each of us, not even the same for ourselves, at different times.) He freaked out, and immediately ran into the Temple in prayer. Me, too. I freaked out, and ran right into His arms, hoping He’d be merciful and tell me the Truth, about this, about me, and in that, most importantly, about Himself. I found just what Hezekiah did, that He is very willing to do that, over and over again.

I guess I’m not supposed to tell you any of this, I’m supposed to carefully cultivate a bulletproof image. Of course, I don’t struggle, don’t fall in any holes, am never hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. But what I could never get through my thick head is that, if I pretend to actually be that ridiculously dishonest image, I am saying it’s just you. I would be building false walls and blasphemous hierarchies.

We are all on this journey, to Him, WITH Him. Of course, we’re at different places. Someone is always further along. We’re just walking each other home. And I think we all have these holes, questions, and mirrors. It’s what we do when we face them that matters, that shows where our faith is, and if what we say is really what we believe. Probably, living a life of faith is just a series of steps closer to answering that question with a “yes.”

Culture War

October 20, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I am a man who was raised on pop culture.

I use the term “pop culture” often, but I don’t know why I add that first qualifying word. Why isn’t it just culture? And why does adding pop, or popular, immediately feel reductive? In a world such as ours, where every single aspect of our lives is touched/manipulated by the breakneck speed of advancing social technology, is there really any separation?

Whatever. I guess maybe I don’t actually know what we’re talking about when we refer to culture. Here are 2 definitions. 1. the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group. And 2. a set of meanings, behavioral norms, and values used by members of a particular society, as they construct their unique view of the world.”

When I started this post, I planned to talk about Chuck Klosterman. But now I’m wondering how we construct our “unique view of the world.” Of course, we all have lenses through which we see everything around us. How we think, believe, act, take in and interpret information, and what we do with that information are all included, but are these parts of us so integral to our identity a conscious decision? I guess what I’m asking is are we intentionally constructing this “unique view of the world,” or passively, mindlessly accepting what may be the most important thing about us??

Why do you do what you do? Why do you believe what you believe? Do you ever think about the social institutions and/or achievements that define us and our time? There is a real danger, as history gets faster and faster, eras become compressed – what took decades now happen in months – that the dog we were comfortably walking is now dragging us along as we struggle to hold on and try to stay alive.

Where are we?

In the Talking Heads song, “Once in A Lifetime,” David Byrne sings (talks), “ And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack. And you may find yourself in another part of the world. And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

How did I get here?

I have always hated Talking Heads, and I think this song is mostly dumb (maybe I just think it’s dumb because I have no idea what he’s talking about) and unlistenable (I think Talking Heads songs are unlistenable because they are), but it’s interesting, in this context. How often have I “found myself” somewhere, with someone, and the only thing I can ask is, “How did I get here?”

The next verse begins, “And you may ask yourself…” And I guess I think that’s the answer. My sons are 18 and 20 and making decisions independent of the Angel and I. Now, of course, this is terrifying, but it’s also the design. These 2 young men need to discover who they are, and that process only happens through a messy differentiation. I don’t want them to live like me. I want them to live like them. I don’t want them to love Jesus like I do, I want them to love Him like they do.

And I think I was joking earlier when I said it was terrifying. I mean, yes, this breaking away to identify themselves includes so many, um, questionable twists and turns, decisions I might not have made and certainly would have advised them against. And that is not easy or smooth, but terrifying? No. What is terrifying is if they wake up some morning and find themselves as these new people and have no idea where they are or how they got there. If they trade my “unique view of the world” for someone else’s, if they just simply adopt another’s perspective without the wrestling that comes with individual formation and growth.

That doesn’t just go for them, it goes for me, too. What do I think, and why? Hm, this wasn’t at all the water I meant to splash around in, on this Monday afternoon. I probably should have just stuck with a nice long post about how awesome Chuck Klosterman is.

The Tension of Real Life

October 13, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

There is such an interesting space between reputation or past behavior and the hope that today is not yesterday. I don’t ever believe in the despair of “well, that’s just how he is,” or ”that’s how I am,” or “what I always do” or, “what can I do, that’s just the way it is.” What about attacking that mindset with an indignant, “it doesn’t have to be, anymore?”

The past is our primary excuse for throwing our hands up in hopeless surrender. If I, he, she, it has been one way, then it only goes to figure that it will always be that way. Right? No. If I have never done the dishes, I can do the dishes today. If I have never gone to the gym, I can start anytime. If we don’t hold hands, I can take your hand in mine this very moment. Maybe I am a person who works a job I hate because, well, just because – why am I that person? And why can’t I change everything about that sentence? Maybe I’m not actually that person. Maybe I don’t have to work that job. Or maybe I don’t have to hate it. Maybe the present & future allows far more agency than we acknowledge.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ transformed every rule we thought was forged in stone, redefined what was possible (in that if death was no longer sure, then everything was now on the table). Our marriage doesn’t have to stay dead, our career doesn’t have to be miserable and soul-crushing, our perspective doesn’t have to be so cynical. Not for one more day. Why not?

And if that’s true, then why would we choose to lock ourselves and others up inside of the boxes we’ve constructed, throwing away the key? We have to be the sorts of people who allow for the possibility of transformation, who hold on to the hope that resurrection & redemption could be true in our own lives, in everything. If there is a fresh new story to be told (and there is), then we have to be the ones reflecting it, right???

But aren’t there people who are toxic to you? Who do not mean for your good, who will hurt you, again and again and again, if given the chance…what about them? Do I have to allow for their transformation? And what does that even look like? Doesn’t leaving the door open, sometimes, make me a fool? Isn’t my abuser “just who he/she is?” Or isn’t he/she that, at least to me? Can I lock that door, or do I have to keep letting them come back? Doesn’t Jesus also say “be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves?” What is wisdom and what does it look like, for me, in this?

This is that “interesting space” from the first sentence, and the sad truth is that there is no solid, unchanging answer. The answer is Yes or No, Both/And, Neither/Nor, but mostly it’s Maybe. Wisdom isn’t static. Forgiveness AND Boundaries can certainly live together in peace and harmony, but so can Forgiveness AND Reconciliation. Now what? Which is it?

We want to know. We want black and white, yes-no, we want understanding & control, we want to say how it’s supposed to be, or what should be, but we don’t get that. We get messy, blurred lines. You and I might have boundaries that she and I don’t. This is the overwhelming, uncomfortable tension of real life, and the most courageous steps we can ever take is to keep leaning into the uncertainty of relationships. There’s only one reason to take them, and it’s a good one: because we’re worth it.

Catfishing Again

September 8, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

There’s a documentary on Netflix called Unknown Number: The High School Catfish, about a 15 year-old girl who starts getting absolutely horrible, menacing texts from numbers she doesn’t recognize. No one else recognizes them, either, because they’re from a text app that seems to be designed for exactly this type of thing. Why do they exist? Why would I want a randomly generated phone number for text messages? I cannot think of even 1 time I thought, “I wish I had a different number to text ____.”

I guess it’s pretty much like the Ashley Madison website. These sites & apps are for what they’re for, with no pretense or apologies. Ashley Madison’s business model is infidelity, period. Text apps are for catfishing. I don’t need burner accounts or phones, and I don’t need a super secret special number because I don’t mind if you see that it is from me, Chad. Maybe you do. But if you do, maybe you can also not use it to send abusive texts to your children? (I recognize I just gave away the reveal in the film, but it was bound to happen. My mom spoiled it for me, too.)

Anyway. The doc wasn’t great. At least, that is to say, I didn’t really care for it. It was so provocative you couldn’t look away, like the junkyard fire I saw 2 days ago. But the best documentaries paint pictures and tell stories to ask questions we don’t necessarily want to ask. People are almost never monsters. We hear their stories and end up understanding, even if we don’t like them. We see the tiny, incremental steps it took to cross the lines they crossed. They become more than the caricatures we see in headlines and click bait, they’re complicated & nuanced. We see ourselves in them.

After enough exposure, the judgment begins to be siphoned out of our hearts. Slowly. But if they are human beings, like us, then what? If we can forgive them, give grace to others, allow them to fall and be redeemed, then maybe we can be forgiven, redeemed, too. Maybe we shouldn’t be defined by the worst things we’ve done. Maybe we shouldn’t define others by the worst things they’ve done.

That’s what I love about documentaries.

This one had a villain. She did the thing, barely took responsibility, continued to lie, pretend, cried, thought she had been punished too harshly, and at the end, we didn’t understand. They didn’t ask the questions that would’ve invited her into the introspection that might have given depth. We didn’t, couldn’t, see ourselves.

[I do not blame the filmmaker, Skye Borgman, who has made many films that are brilliant. She deserves all of the awards she’s won. This makes me wonder if she simply couldn’t impel this woman to walk through the door out of villainous caricature. Maybe she did ask all of the right questions, but the answers gave so little, all that was left was the shocking story itself.]

Scooby Doo and other cartoons (and cartoon’y movies) have good guys and bad guys, but it’s hardly ever that defined in real life. When it is, it’s jarring and uncomfortable. They are usually great characteristics for documentaries – jarring and uncomfortable – but for different reasons altogether. I was happy when it ended.

Then, next time I turned on the tv, I could get back to rewatching Fisk.

Love With A Capital L

A journey towards living an inspired life of love in the modern world

Tag: honesty