Barney is/was a purpose dinosaur who became a phenomenon and then a pariah. Kids lost their minds to the cult of Barney, loving him more and more as they watched VHS tapes and shows on PBS on repeat. Everybody else lost their minds for a different reason. Everybody knew and would sing that dumb song, loudly, “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?” I hated him, too.

But you know, I can’t figure out why. I never saw the show, not once. That would be like me hating The Wizard of Oz or Orange Is The New Black. Why would I loathe something that didn’t affect me at all? I don’t hate Phish or Niall Horan’s new album, how could I?

But with Barney, all he was about was loving people, all he was doing was telling kids they’re awesome. That seems like a strange thing to hate. Maybe it was pandering and mind-numbingly boring (and I truly mean maybe…like I said, I haven’t ever seen an episode), it may have been very bad, but it was good.

I watched a great documentary on this interesting dichotomy. Barney was terrific until he wasn’t. We loved him until we didn’t, and then we HATED him. It was one of the first illustrations of the destructive power of the internet. There were incredibly mean blogs where people could connect and hate together, pages where gatherings of hate could be planned & advertised. The internet is a boundary-less space of infinite possibility, and we immediately use it for porn and hating each other (or giant purpose dinosaurs). Maybe nothing connects us like having a common enemy, but that’s so depressing, I simply have to believe otherwise.

Why did I hate him? Why did anyone hate him? Because there was no gray area in Barney. The ‘90’s were the time where antiheroes began to truly define us, where the bad guys were fascinating and compelling. Superman is good, Batman is complex – there are lots of great, super-successful Batman movies and franchises, very few for Superman. Han Solo is our favorite Star Wars character, he’s in the rebellion but is kind of a scoundrel. Luke Skywalker was just the hero, uncomplicated.

My favorite characters have always been Luke Skywalker and Superman. Of course, I also believe in the goodness of people. The world is gray and confusing enough. So why would I hate Barney? I think it’s easy (and embarrassing): because everyone else did. We were the alternative all together. We were supposed to be cynical (which we called realistic), Barney was too bland. Good didn’t sell newspapers then, and it doesn’t garner clicks now.

As I watched the documentary, I thought of how we are, our design. It all makes sense, we’re made for this kind of community. And hate is a fuel that burns hot and quick. Of course, if we’re not careful, we run towards anger and rage, division, us/them dichotomies. We like enemies. And then we lose interest and move on.

What if we decided to connect and share something more sustaining, something beautiful and bright? What if we decided that Barney was right, that we were lovable, that we did, in fact, love each other, and that we were awesome, that we could all be awesome together? What if the internet blogs were less about tearing everything apart and, instead, about the ka-jillions of ways we can rebuild ourselves and our world? What if we all decided to give a great big hug and a kiss from me to you? I don’t hate Barney anymore.

Yeah, I know, I’m hopeless…