2025-06-09T18:16:30+00:00

Quintessence!!

June 9, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Today’s site prompt is: If humans had taglines, what would yours be, and why?

First, what exactly is a tagline? I’m pretty sure I don’t have one, but maybe if I knew what one actually is, I would need one. So… “A tagline is a slogan or catchphrase, especially as used in advertising, or the punchline of a joke. Strategic tools to convey the quintessence of a brand’s identity and values in a compact form.”

Am I advertising me? I’m not a joke, I don’t need a punchline, but I could probably use a strategy to convey the “quintessence” of my identity & values in a compact form. Maybe it just takes too long to get to know me (or anyone) and we could all use taglines.

[It might sound like I am maligning these site prompts, but as it turns out, (even if I begin the post meaning to do just that), I always find them interesting. They’re a great tool to communicate. I wonder if a person writes them, or if it’s an AI prompt generator. It’s probably not a person, right? Not much is, anymore, I guess. I heard most news stories are generated. That’s sad, for some reason. I am a real, flesh and blood, person. But what is my catchphrase??? Maybe it could be, “Chad – a real person.” That would tell you a lot. But I bet that’s what a robot would say, too. It would use the acronym IRL, like kids on social media. I would not use it for me. You know what I could do? Change it to “In Real Love.” I don’t know what that means, am I in real love? Or am I the object of real love? Both.]

I don’t use the word “quintessence” enough. It’s a thing’s “perfect, ideal” example. It’s also “the fifth and highest element in ancient and medieval philosophy that permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies.” It feels like the site means the first one, though. Maybe we’re talking medieval philosophy and the celestial bodies, but I don’t think so.

So, what is a phrase/word/sentence that’s the quintessential representation of me?

I like lots of cool things, art and words like quintessence. I like people most. I’m religious and spiritual. (I know the proper form is “spiritual, but not religious,” and I do know what it means, in a modern, popular context, but I don’t like it anymore. Religious means “Belief in/reverence for God,” and “Respect for what is sacred.” As I suspected, I am quite religious. You know what we do too often? We throw things – words, ideas, etc – out instead of reclaiming them. Just because things have baggage, or have been corrupted, doesn’t make them the problem. Our judgment is. We throw people away who have baggage, too, instead of reclaiming them as what/who they truly are.) I’m married, and I love that I am. I am a dad of 2 boys, and I love that I am that, too. I am deeply grateful, for every moment of this beautiful life in which I have found myself.

Maybe that’s it. “Chad – Real, Grateful.”

Is that my quintessence? If I were advertising me, would that convince you that I am a product you needed to have in your life? Maybe. But maybe I’m not primarily a product, and maybe you’re not primarily a consumer. Maybe we’re just us, just people, and maybe we are just in each other’s lives for no other reason than that we want to.

Graduation Is Not Like Andor

June 2, 2025June 2, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

My youngest son’s high school graduation happened last Friday, and as it turned out, after much reflection, it was not like Andor at all.

This is what I wrote in last week’s post: The Angel & I have 2 sons, and the youngest one graduates from high school Friday. I’ll write about that next week, when it has passed and I have some sort of handle on my overflowing emotions. I also can’t seem to shake the notion that the 2nd season of Andor will help me with that handle. Who knows?

Andor was excellent, as good as anyone had any right to expect, as good as Star Wars can be, as good as any work of science fiction has ever been. The characters are awesome, well-written and complex, the story is layered, full of suspense, twists and turns. Maybe that’s like graduation. The students are complex and awesome. The story of their childhood & adolescence has been layered, full of suspense, ups, downs, surprises, heartbreak, elation, disappointment.

What I maybe didn’t like about Andor is pretty common in most modern storytelling. There aren’t exactly good guys & bad guys, just shades of gray. Sauron was baaaaad. Frodo, Aragorn, Gandalf were good. Superman was good, Lex Luther was bad. Tony Stark is good, most of the time, kind of, but flawed and quite capable of bad.

There’s a scene in Andor, where Cassian Andor is rescuing Mon Mothma from the senate floor, and he shoots & kills several people. He does the same in Rogue One – to a person on the same side of the rebellion!!!

So, maybe I don’t like that, but I recognize that it is a far more accurate picture of war and human beings. No one is all good, all the time, no one is all bad, all the time. The white hats aren’t as pure as we’d like to believe, just as the villains aren’t as irredeemable as lazy intellectual convenience might suggest. The only real difference between sides in war is where you stand. These new creators aren’t as concerned with my desire (sometimes) for easy delineation. They write for realism, which sounds ridiculous to say in a discussion of a space opera. And sometimes I like that, too.

I’m just like everyone else, complex and often inconsistent. Maybe this stood out because, as far as I can tell, the show was primarily about this blurriness between the heroes and villains. Luther Rael was a terrific character, but can not be considered a positive, ethical role model, under any definition, yet was the slimy uncle of the beginnings of the rebellion. It wasn’t just a part of the story, it was the story.

The graduates, including my son, are becoming adults, and I have been witness to the great beauty and the sickening lows of humanity. In that way, they’re just like Andor. From where I stand, my boy is the hero, but I’m not so naive to think that he hasn’t been callous and cutting along the way. Maybe he’s said things he’s not proud of, done things he’d change if given the opportunity.

But what’s not like Andor is that this duality is NOT the story. The story is one of transcending that moral confusion to bring real positive change in the world around them. It is a detail that adds to the narrative but is not the narrative. The characters in Andor accept the fact that their methods are the same as their enemy’s methods, with no discernible desire for anything else. They do what they have to do, the ends justify the means.

And maybe they do. Maybe the Death Star has to be destroyed, and however we do it, whatever compromise we make, is worth it.

I happen to have been lucky enough to know these kids who walked across the stage on Friday, and I still see/feel the wide-eyed, wild-eyed hope of youth. They have not had their imaginations beaten out of them by life, just yet. They seem to know the Death Star needs to be destroyed, but have not acquiesced to the notion that we have to become our enemy to defeat it. They’re imperfect, and they are aware of the imperfection, but they’re beautiful in those cracks and flaws.

I believe them, I admire their souls, I want them to win. I think my son is Luke Skywalker – but not the Luke Skywalker caricature of the original trilogy that all fanboys defend, by any means necessary. He’s more like the Luke Skywalker of The Last Jedi. My boy is authentic and funny, wonderful and messy. He can fail, but will ultimately show up, stand up, and fight for you & me until he has nothing left. He’s capable of everything, he’s all that a Jedi Knight should be. Of course, he’s not perfect, but he’s certainly one of the good guys, and in his (and his classmates) hands, the universe will be alright in the end.

Anniversary

May 27, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

[The Angel & I have 2 sons, and the youngest one graduates from high school Friday. I’ll write about that next week, when it has passed and I have some sort of handle on my overflowing emotions. I also can’t seem to shake the notion that the 2nd season of Andor will help me with that handle. Who knows?]

I just told you that the Angel & I have 2 sons – you might be interested to know that, today, we will have been married for 24 years. This is the year that she will have been married to me for more years of her life than she has not. (I’m not there quite yet.) That feels like a monumental milestone. I guess it’s not, but it sure does feel like it.

So, I’ll tell you what we did to celebrate this anniversary. We went out to lunch/dinner yesterday and then went shopping for a Graduation Dress. When we go clothes shopping for her, she allows me to choose up to 5 items that she will try on along with the ones she chooses. There’s almost zero chance she’ll want any of my 5, but that’s not the point at all. If you’ve ever seen her, you know she’s an absolutely fox. She has a perfect figure, like a little guitar, and I love to see her in interesting styles and fabrics. Yesterday, she graciously waived the 5 maximum rule, and I filled our cart.

As I was standing outside the fitting room, I started thinking about being married to her for so long. She is way out of my league, far better than I could have ever dreamed of, yet here we are. I don’t know how this happened, and like to say, “but that’s her problem,” as if it’s hilarious, which it is. But it’s also true.

When I was young, we’d go to Hersheypark and I loved it like crazy. But I’d, almost immediately, start thinking how I didn’t want to leave, didn’t want the day to be over.. Or Christmas morning, the melancholy of the end being over would set in while we were still opening presents. Sometimes, it’s hard to be present for the most wonderful moments, because we’re waiting for the end. The first time I saw Morrissey in concert, as I sang along, I cried because I wanted it to last forever. How many of the best moments of my life, how many of the greatest gifts, did I miss simply because I was elsewhere in my mind?

Probably very early in our relationship, I expected her to wake up and move on, but I said a cool thing to her that changed both of our lives. (I don’t know if she knows how much it changed mine.) Usually, you think of the perfect thing to say as you walk away, right? Once in my life, it came at exactly the right time. She was very hesitant to step into our relationship with both feet – for lots of reasons – and I said, “what makes you think I’ll wait,” (honestly, it doesn’t sound that awesome now, it kind of sounds arrogant and posturing, maybe you had to be there, maybe you had to be us) and then something like, we can spend our lives waiting for something that is right here, right now, and end up thinking about how we missed it. I was not telling the truth, I would have waited for a million years, but she wasn’t the only one tip-toeing into us. I believed she would leave, eventually, so, like Christmas morning, I waited for the end.

When I said that supercool line, I was talking about waiting for her, but I was waiting for me, too.

Jacob wakes up in the wilderness and realizes God has always been there, he just wasn’t aware. That is one of the biggest tragedies I can think of, that we are in the midst of the divine, of the amazing, of our lives, of this love, and we just walk on by, as if it’s common, or ordinary. My wife is not ordinary, not even close, and neither is our marriage. Our lives aren’t ordinary, and neither are yours. These are all gifts from Our Creator, if we only have eyes to see and hearts to hold them.

We made this decision, so it doesn’t matter at all if she’s in my league. What matters is that we’re here, we’re 24 years in, and my vows 24 years ago are still true, maybe more than ever – that I couldn’t promise her easy or lots of money or that I wouldn’t be ridiculously high maintenance, but I could promise that I’d love her. What I left out, that I was thinking about outside of that changing room, is what I should have also promised; that I would be there, I would show up, I would not wish for her to get done trying clothes on already, I would not miss these moments shopping, I would never call us ordinary, I would not miss her and this. I will keep loving her. I will not miss us.

I think it’s possible that God wants us to be fully present to our lives, reminds us over and over, in parables and poems and songs and stories, is because He knows what He has made, how awesome it is, what He has for us, how awesome that is, and knows the importance of gratitude and worship in keeping us awake to the wonder of each other and our lives, and Him. I am more grateful than I could ever tell you, for not just today, not just her, but for all of the days and moments and people who have made everything so beautiful and full. And to/for the One Who made, is making, them all.

Marrying Juan Soto

May 20, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Juan Soto is an outfielder for the New York Mets. According to his stats – his career batting average is .283, he finished 3rd in MVP voting once, this year, he’s hitting under .250 – he’s an average Major League Baseball player. But his contract says different. The Mets signed him in the offseason for all the years and all the money. So, according to his bank account, he’s the greatest to ever play the game.

Yesterday, he lined a ball off of the fence, stood in the box smiling it, and loafed into first with a 350 ft single. When reporters asked if he thought that was a problem, he quickly responded, “No.” Now, the Mets manager is going to “talk to” him about his lack of effort.

There is a lot about that paragraph that is distasteful, but the one that stands out is that the team will “talk to” him. For what? For being Juan Soto. By most accounts, he’s not exactly a high character guy, he’s not winning Man of the Year awards anytime soon, he’s his own biggest fan. If you believe they’ll actually talk to and/or discipline him for his actions and attitude (and that is a very big IF – it’s likely just something that upper management thinks is a good thing to say, condescending to us, as if we’ll scoop up whatever they toss our way, no matter how silly and nonsensical it is), my question is why?

I have the honor of officiating many weddings every year. Some feel like they’ll last forever, and some don’t. Some men will be great husbands, but other boys shouldn’t be getting married at all. I also do a fair amount of pre- and post-marital counseling (mostly listening and allowing each the space to be heard by the other), and what I find in stressful situations is usually pretty similar.

They marry Juan Soto, and then, when Juan Soto does Juan Soto things, behaves like Juan Soto always has, they appear to be shocked and dismayed. But they married Juan Soto. Do they expect him to be Derek Jeter or Nolan Ryan after the wedding day?

It’s very strange. Let’s say girl X is having an affair with Juan Soto, who is dating/engaged/married to girl Y. Juan Soto ends up probably being found out by Y (because Juan Soto’s don’t usually turn on a dime for less), and leaves Y to be with X. She finally gets to have him to herself, to build a life together. He’ll change, he loves her, whatever. Then, when he is discovered to be having a new affair with girl Z, X is absolutely shocked! How could he do this to me?!!

If you marry Juan Soto and he doesn’t have a job, has never had a job, and you are the one who pays for everything, maybe getting married expecting him to be a different person, one who works and pays, might not be the best idea. Maybe you still want to marry him, who am I to judge? You can marry who you want, it’s the expectation that’s the problem. The Mets hired a guy who turns doubles and triples into singles, and is incredibly surly about the suggestion that he might have any responsibility to his team to hustle out an extra base. After marrying him and giving him the GDP of most countries, why would they dream they’d end up with Mike Trout?

Why would girl X think Juan Soto would be faithful to her, when he’s not evidenced faithfulness as a characteristic he values too much? She wouldn’t. And neither would the Mets. That’s why it’s sort of offensive to pretend to mind, 50 games into the first season of the marriage.

Maybe he’ll change, hopefully he will, but isn’t it a little unfair to him to assume he will, and hold it against him if he doesn’t? He’s Juan Soto, and being Juan Soto got him 3/4 of a billion dollars, or the spouse, or the job, or or or.

But aren’t we made to grow and mature, to transform? Yes, of course, but we choose not to lean into everything we’re made for all the time, for a lot of reasons, some much less than 3/4 of a billion reasons. And that’s why we should be very careful who we marry.

People

May 12, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I finished a book last week, called Mastering Fear, by Dr Robert Maurer. It’s probably the 10th time I’ve read it, and it never fails to change me in some pretty significant ways. One of the main ideas is to emphasize that, in stressful, anxious, difficult situation, we are created, hard-wired to find others. The best example is when a child is scared, (in healthy environments) they climb into their parents bed for comfort. As we grow, that positive impulse is conditioned out of us. We believe we are on our own, we hold up independence as THE primary characteristic to success, not to mention the myth of the self-made anything.

Friday, my boys and I all knocked off of work/school and went to the theater to watch the Thunderbolts*. It’s the latest offering from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the asterisk is a totally intentional plot point that I won’t spoil for you.

The MCU has followed the law of diminishing returns since Endgame, this multiverse business is boring and hollow, an excuse for cheap gimmicks, and has effectively eliminated consequence. Whatever. It’s fine. Disappointing, but fine. I see the movies when I do, but they are no longer vital to me, like The Winter Soldier or Infinity War was. (I have heard a “reboot” is coming to rescue us all from this nonsense, and it is desperately needed. Fingers crossed.)

Thunderbolts* is an exception, it’s fantastic, really great. At their best, superhero films are about big, real life issues, just in a science fiction context. When critics bemoan the explosions and unrealistic elements, as if those bells & whistles are the only reason for their existence, they have missed everything authentic and important and meaningful.

Yes, I recognize that I just called these movies ‘important,’ and they can be. I am not sorry. This is one of those times. Thunderbolts* is the modern human experience laid out before us. It’s super soldiers, enhanced superhumans, and genetic freaks. It’s also about mental illness, isolation, loneliness & crushing depression. Mostly about those.

And, like Maurer’s book, the solution is a team of super-people. Those who show up to hold our hands and help us lift giant pieces of falling skyscraper, to listen, and to save cities. (Of course, that is somewhat simplistic – a buddy isn’t a cure for mental illness, but a buddy always helps. Always. Someone who cares, someone to turn to, to climb into bed alongside of when we’re scared, and sometimes someone who will remind us that pharmaceuticals aren’t a flashing neon sign of weakness or faithlessness or anything else other than a crutch for an injury that may or may not be temporary. Depression and mental illness are complicated. They are also nothing to go through alone.)

These people in our lives are complicated, too. They can be full of contradictions and drive us crazy. The more we allow them in, the more power we give to wound us deeply. They can annoy. They can just be the worst. And they are also the ones who make this life so wonderful.

We don’t save worlds from “the Void” alone, and we don’t build beautiful lives alone, either.

New Ways

May 5, 2025May 5, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Before we dive in, I wrote a post called Characters a few weeks ago, and received this super-sweet comment from a reader named pealsabdallah: “beautiful! AI-Powered Stethoscope Detects Heart Disease Early 2025 alluring.” Thank you, pealsabdallah, I think I’ll check out this AI-powered stethoscope that is so alluring, for sure.

I’ve heard that many accounts buy “followers” to boost their numbers, thus making them appear more attractive to advertisers. Maybe I’ll do that, too, if all of these pseudo-accounts are as kind as pealsabdallah.

I knew almost nothing about Twitter before last weekend, when I watched a documentary (on Max) called “Breaking The Bird.” It was very good, like the best soap operas. Founders were fired through back room shenanigans, only to be fired themselves through back room shenenigans, oodles of money was made & lost, everybody received death threats, and it all finally ended (as many things do) with Elon Musk.

I have a Twitter account, but never made one tweet. I was only a tourist. I’m mostly a tourist on Instagram, too. Now, though, I do wish I had engaged. It seemed to be a very interesting experiment, vital and alive. Maybe it failed. Whether it failed is hard to define. As Vision said to Ultron, (referring to humanity itself) “a thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts.”

Now Twitter is X and, sadly, nobody cares anymore. I missed the window.

One of the creators, Jack Dorsey, said, “I wanted to show the world a new way to see itself.” That quote is the primary reason I wish I had participated in Twitter. (I think that’s what we’re all doing, every day, with any work of art. I think it’s what the Bible does. It’s definitely what Jesus did.) It speaks to an extraordinary naïveté that I find incredibly refreshing and commendable, worthy of it’s inclusion in the history books.

This naïveté spurred these 3 to build a space where people could connect and discover themselves and their environment, without a trace of awareness that we can’t be trusted at all. If there is a thing, we will ruin it. Everybody knows that. Except for these 3, apparently. How could they have guessed that politicians would use their platform to espouse the most extremely nasty, venomous lies? Easy. A better question is, how could they not???

Is it reasonable to think killers would post videos of themselves killing? Of course. Or to believe people full of hate would direct that hate to ooze all over this platform? Obviously.

Now. I do have a new question, one that’s far more interesting to me. (Though, admittedly, that’s not that big of a deal. People being awful and lying their faces off is one of the least interesting things going.)

But first, do you remember Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park, who said, “Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

Do they have to think about if they should, based on our propensity for evil? Does everything have to be considered through the filter of the lowest common denominator? If I invent a hammer to build, is it my responsibility to realize that we’d hit each other with it? Was it up to the Twitter founders to plan for the worst of our behavior? Isn’t it enough to make something beautiful, out of pure motives? Maybe not, but then that would mean nothing new would ever happen. No one would paint or sing or write. We ruin everything…does that mean we shouldn’t have anything??

And, with that kind of pessimism (realism?), where is the hope for us? Who will call us up? Into what? Can we evolve into better versions of ourselves?

And then I think of Oppenheimer’s bomb. Maybe it is true, maybe we shouldn’t have anything.

Patience

May 1, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I’ve been sick forever, and it’s possible that this is my new normal. I’ll always have a cough, always be tight, always short of breath, always blowing my nose 900 times a day. I have no idea how my body produces the gallons and gallons of mucous, where it comes from or where it’s stored. I bet I’m so constantly exhausted because this amazing contraption that usually keeps me moving easily throughout the day is overwhelmed by the demands of manufacturing this excess. And now I’ve had it, I’m angry and I’m frustrated, and know that I’ll be sick for the rest of my life.

These symptoms came last week. For 3 days, I had less than 1,000 steps each day, while wake and sleep looked totally alike. The couch has my body’s outline on the cushions. Netflix and I are best friends.

Yes, last week. I’ve been sick for just over a week. I returned to the gym days ago, didn’t miss work Sunday morning, and am no longer cancelling any appointments or responsibilities. I am recovering, just too slowly, and this judgment is what has convinced me that I’m now a sickly shell of the robust, energetic, enthusiastic, passionate ball of sunshine I used to be.

What makes me think I’m recovering too slowly? What makes me the great arbiter of health timelines? If you were sick or injured, I’d probably tell you about the benefits of rest and perspective. I’d also use the phrase, “it’s a long game.” These things don’t apply to me, and I now understand why you want to punch me in the belly when I say those things. I’d punch me, too. Who cares if they’re right??

I’d also certainly drop the P-word, patience.

From time to time, I suffer with injuries in the gym. And I do suffer. I don’t rest or take days off. I work through them. I don’t have time to stop. Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me what I’m training for that I can’t pause a workout. I don’t have an answer for that.

What makes me so impatient? What makes us all so impatient?

In most areas of my life, I am a very patient man. Not here. Not now. Who’s fault is this? What is to blame? The internet? Sure. My phone? This iPad? The microwave? All of those things have redefined time. We don’t really rest well, always kneeling at the altar of productivity. But is that a new, modern characteristic? I would guess not. The march has been in the direction of easier and more convenient, as long as humans have walked upright.

Neither is my selfish predisposition. Illness is not for me. I decide. I say what should be. That’s not new or particularly special.

Anyway. Now what? As the brilliant philosopher Axl Rose says, “It’ll work itself out fine…And we’ll come together fine. All we need is just a little patience.” I’ve trusted him before, so I guess I will here, too.

My Own Hypocrisy

April 21, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

There is a certain freedom to posting here. I write another blog for the faith community of which I am the pastor. This one is different. It is still of the same perspective (I don’t know how to be another way), just maybe not as overtly so. This is where I discuss Smiths albums and Marvel movies – which are, of course, important and wildly spiritual. The freedom is in the audience. Very few read both, so that leaves me open to write about real life situations without you wondering who it is that I’m referring to. That ‘wondering,’ no matter how fleeting, is usually enough to miss the point I’m trying to to make. Hopefully, you don’t care who, specifically, I’m talking about, you know it doesn’t matter.

Now.

Much of what I talk about on Sundays is the hope of new days, new paths, new situations and possibilities. Yesterday was Resurrection Sunday, so it’s fairly easy to relate an empty tomb and a new creation with new me’s and you’s. One of my favorite things to say (much like the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing “Under The Bridge” in concert) is “Nothing is just what it is,” playing on the underlying despair of the modern refrain, “It is what it is.” I think nothing has to be what it is, or what it has been. No one has to continue to be what they have been. We can change futures through our todays. Nothing is inevitable. That’s what Easter is all about.

There is a tension in that. What if you know someone who you would consider a bad person? What if monsters do exist? What happens when you are teaching on releasing people to change, to transform and become something new and different? Are we all created in His image? Is the love of God truly for everyone?

I would tell you the answer to those last 2 questions are, without hesitation, YES!! I totally believe the theology I relay. And sometimes, the theological crashes into the practical, in spectacular fashion. We can say we are all about forgiveness, until we have something to forgive, right? We can repeat verses about loving our enemies until we have enemies.

So, yesterday, that person (that tension in flesh and blood) walked back into the church, as a mirror to my own hypocrisy. And now what?

As I moved through my Resurrection message, I thought about this person. Do I really believe what I say I do? Even for that person? Really?

Can I teach about love and peace, while my heart is…um…not loving or peaceful? Probably. The news is littered with pastors caught in all kinds of sketchy behavior (money and sex are particularly effective traps), while teaching very solid sermons in front of thousands of congregants. How do they do that? I felt like a pretender, at first. I didn’t want this person there, wanted them outside behind locked doors.

BUT WE DON”T LOCK DOORS IN A CHURCH!!! Now what?!!? As it turns out, I do believe what I teach. I also think this person is not a nice person. But, with all I am, I don’t think this person has to stay not a nice person. I do think this person belongs in a church, and I’m grateful I got to give this hopeful message of transformation to them.

Of course, I’m a hypocrite. Maybe someday I won’t be. Probably I won’t be, if the Scriptures are all true. But if I can be loved like this, hypocrisy and all, this person can, too. And they deserve to have someone care enough to give them this good news. They deserve to have someone believe in them, trust them, and allow them to change.

I’m not ready for personal relationship with them, maybe I won’t ever be, maybe I’m not the person for that kind of intimacy, maybe too much has happened here, maybe I don’t like them. And maybe that’s ok. I do have to love them, but maybe what love looks like, here, is simply unlocking the box I’ve put them in.

Confession

April 14, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I have an embarrassing confession to make, and a subsequent renewal of my personal ethos. (I’m writing/posting it as a way to work out my actual circumstance and gain some accountability. I don’t feel the need to live my whole life online. In fact, I think this can lead to a certain modern narcissism…maybe that’s what I am. A lot of these sentences begin with “I.” I can probably reason all of this away, convince you I am not, and sound super spiritual about it, without it being the truth. I don’t know if I’d know the truth, either way. Does a narcissist know he/she is a narcissist? Or is it just reality, how the world is, to him/her? Whatever.)

I was asked by a very good friend to help him coach baseball. I have been a baseball coach before, he hasn’t, and asked for my help. I love him 3,000, so I said yes. My previous team (which you may have read about ad nauseam) was comprised of 14, 15, & 16 year olds and was probably a unicorn, when it comes to the nexus of ability, effort, & character. This team is for 10-12 year olds. A 10 year old is different from a 16 year old in so many ways. That seems like a super-obvious thing to say, right? It is and it’s not. They’re different in way you know, ways that are obvious, and they are different in a million more, subtle, striking, ways.

I don’t like it.

And as I drive to the field, I think about how I don’t like it. The kids are sweet and funny, and they’re soft and wild, like squirrels released from a trap, running as fast as they can to nowhere in particular, screaming as loud as they can, about nothing in particular. I speak to them as if they’re 16 year olds, as if they’re my unicorn, and when they respond as not-unicorns, I am easily frustrated and (hopefully unnoticeably) discouraged.

I do not like this, even more.

I believe we show up and offer all we are, in every situation. This blog is my raw, honest heart, I pour my soul into every word, even if it gets 3 views (which it sometimes does.) You see, we are called to live at a certain level, as if working/living “for the Lord,” instead of anything/anyone else. This is awesome, because that means every person and space (no matter how insignificant we might consider – which is an absolutely WRONG perspective to hold, nothing and no one is insignificant. No moment, no interaction, no invitation, is insignificant, when we consecrate – which is a fancy church word that just means give – it unto God) has infinite value.

I hope it’s been unnoticeable, because those squirrels deserve so much better. And I’m going to give it to them. I’ll give them no more and no less than what I have to give, which is all of me, everything I have, my authentic self, just Chad. I won’t always be able to be there, I won’t always feel good, I might yell at them to “PAY ATTENTION!!!!!” but they will have my heart, undivided and untainted, from now on.

This space isn’t always for overt religion, but today requires some explicitly spiritual conversation. I repent of my actions. I’m embarrassed. I ask for, and receive, forgiveness. Now it’s just a matter of changing my behavior.

Confession & Renewal, this is an awful lot of what our lives are. An endless cycle of transgression & repentance, wrongs & rights, ups & downs, seasons of growth (sometimes uncomfortably stretching growth)… Maybe I wish it wasn’t quite so endless. Maybe I wish I would always get it right, not as much confession or transgression. Oh well, not yet, I suppose. So that leaves just one thing: to keep showing up.

Characters

April 7, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site is wondering, if I could be a character from a book or movie, which one would I be?

Well, I have always wanted to be Superman or Luke Skywalker. And, with the terrific portrayal in the MCU, I can add Captain America. Those are who I wanted to be, and as I look at them now, they are characters with very little conflict. They’re squeaky clean and always good.

That’s why Star Wars fans had such a problem with The Last Jedi, the avoidance & moral ambiguity of Luke Skywalker tainted his reputation. The film is my favorite of the bunch, mostly because, as I get older, I recognize that everyone has those gray areas. Captain America keeps most personal things a secret and is a horrible friend. Superman… well, if you would call sleeping with Lois before marriage a moral flaw, that might be the only one, but he is Superman.

When I read High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby, I could see myself in Rob, the record store owner with relationship issues. I still can, in lots of ways. I will sometimes get my priorities mixed up, misplacing pop music and culture much too high in the hierarchy of values. I can receive too much of my worth in the way others perceive me, too. But he’s also funny and cool and loves (people, art, and things) easily. I feel like, in real life, we’d really like him.

I can happily also see me Kung Fu Panda’s Po. I’m fairly paunchy, hate cardio, own action figures, love violence and noodles. I have studied my own dragon scroll and have found there is no secret ingredient in me, either. I am just me, and have found that absolutely, wonderfully freeing. But I also make a mess and eat too many cookies.

In the Bible, there’s a disciple named Peter. He speaks quickly, without thinking, and is often wrong. He’s zealous and excitable, he probably talks too loudly and too much. There’s a moment when Christ is transfigured, and Peter is one of three to actually see it, and instead of being present to this sacred glimpse of the Divine, he wants to build altars to His God and this space. He wants to do something, fix something, explain something. He wants to prove himself through what he can/will do, through his devotion. He fails in big spots, chooses the easy, comfortable way, and likes things to be his way. He also loves Jesus with every ounce of himself. He wants everybody else to love Him, too. He is the rock upon which Jesus can trust to build His Church. After the resurrection, when he sees Jesus, he jumps right out of his boat and swims to the shore. I’d like to be a rock Christ can trust…but otherwise, I can certainly relate to this person in a Book.

I guess that’s the difference between a boy and a man. I can see me in Rob, Po, and Peter – the good parts and the bad. I can hold the different sides of being human, I appreciate their flaws, and love them deeply anyway. Maybe this mirrors our own journey. We want to have superpowers and win all the time, so we can’t look too hard at the cracks in our self-created images. But now, as a grown up, I can see my bad, aged skin from a life lived, and I don’t hate that skin anymore. This skin is mine and tells the story of me, then, and me, now. It tells the story of God’s creation & grace: in spite of the mess I’ve made (and continue to make) of His work, He loves me desperately anyway. He sees tremendous value and beauty in that skin, in me, so maybe I should, too.

I wanted to be superheroes and Jedi knights when I was young(er), I don’t want to be them anymore. I don’t really want to be anyone other than who I am, anymore.

Love With A Capital L

A journey towards living an inspired life of love in the modern world

Author: The Bridge Faith Community