2026-01-14T18:29:16+00:00

Weirdos Looking For Other Weirdos

January 14, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Now, today, the site prompt is “In what ways do you communicate online?” and that fits very nicely with why I opened my computer to write this morning. This is not the silly snacks conversation, this communication topic cuts to the heart of who we are as human beings.

Sometimes, I can’t sleep. After finding a bedtime routine that was working (first, reading a chapter or 3 of a book I like, then laying like spoons with the Angel for a few minutes, and I seem to drift off immediately, mostly sleeping through the night), I apparently decided to change that up, for whatever thoughtless reason. Last night’s great idea was to scroll through Instagram for a half an hour, then turn the light off and…what exactly did I think would happen? Laughing at NFL memes and cat videos isn’t conducive to anyone’s winding down process. Usually I don’t even take my phone into the bedroom, but last night, I did.

So, I was downstairs eating a bowl of cereal, watching People’s Court on YouTube for an hour, then to bed, only to wake up with a splitting headache a couple of hours later. My watch says I slept for 3 hours with no “deep” sleep. Maybe those things aren’t to be trusted, but I feel like I slept 3 hours with no deep sleep, so maybe in this instance it’s accurate.

Anyway, I was up watching a board game documentary on Amazon, called The Hobby: Tales From The Tabletop. (There apparently is another doc called just The Hobby, which concerns the trading card industry. This is a confusing coincidence, if it’s not related, but also interesting.) This doc is about people who love modern board gaming. I say “modern,” because it’s not Monopoly or Life. Instead, these games are complicated stories that have instruction booklets that are pages & pages long. It’s much more D & D than Scrabble, more Call of Duty than Pac-Man. There are tournaments and role-playing. It’s the kind of subculture that I just love; it reminds me of the absolute treasure that was Chicken People.

It like the wide, wild, world of sexual fetishes, without the NSFW element. They exist, hidden in plain sight, and are totally overlooked. And the more I discover, the more I realize remain below the surface. There really is something for everyone.

But when I watch these documentaries, it is further evidence that, as the Bible says, “it is not good for man to be alone.” We are made to be together – whether here, in blogs, online communities, chat rooms and message boards, or in churches, clubs, cults, groups, and arenas. There are countless spaces we’ve created to connect, and it doesn’t matter how or when, or how odd it is to me, I am thrilled when each of us finds our people.

This desire drives almost every action, no matter how small. Who we do “it” with is mostly more important that the “it” we do, but the “it” is the beacon that draws us together. I’m not going to the “Wingspan” world Championships, but I certainly would go to a Morrissey convention or a baseball game or a Sunday morning service. We’re all weirdos looking for other weirdos to move through & make this life more beautiful, and when we find them, we hold on tightly. Or we should hold on tightly.

Life can be long and hard and it can hurt like crazy sometimes, we should all have a hand to hold, a person who gets down in the dirt next to us when we’re mourning – we should all have people to love and be loved by. AND a person to play “Sagrada” or “Blood Rage” with, if that’s your kind of thing.

A New Basketball Season…

January 12, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

The site prompt for today is, “What snack would you eat right now?” I sometimes use these prompts as a springboard, but I’m telling you today’s to illustrate that they’re not all awesome. Some of them are about snacks. Not every shot goes in.

You’re not surprised about that last sentence. I am a man who was raised to love sports (most all sports – I can even find things to like about soccer), so many of my examples and metaphors point in that direction. You know this, and you’ve probably been missing the posts I’ve built around youth sports.

So, I’ll fill you in.

My youngest son is playing on his college basketball team. He’s playing very well, and so is the team. It isn’t translating into wins yet, they’re in the process of a complete culture transformation. They’ve had several down years, so they’re re-learning what is possible for them. It’s easy to draw parallels to “real” life, away from the court. We examined & evaluated our lives, probably set some new year’s resolutions, we’re in the process of complete cultural transformations in ourselves. Now what? What happens when we lose (fail, backslide, regress) or fall? Do we listen to the voices in our heads that tell us that’s just who we are? Most new year’s resolutions are thrown away and forgotten by February. Transformation takes time and patience, and a refusal to entertain the same old story that keeps us sick.

So many of the words I’ve written here discussed the abysmal officiating (in all sports) at the high school level (and below.) This has not been the case for most of the games here. As the players improve, so do the referees. Mostly. There have been games that have been so poorly officiated, it could break your heart. The depressing thing is that the young men give so much time and energy, so much of themselves, to their craft, it feels like a huge disservice that the officials can’t do the same. (I do recognize that maybe they do, and these nights are simply aberrations, just isolated bad games in a career of competence. Maybe.) I sometimes have an urge to apologize to both teams for what we’ve collectively provided to support them. We show up to our jobs and spouses and children and communities, and we give the best we have to give, learn and grow, because it’s the way we honor Our God, and each other.

Speaking of growth, practicing grace in this space is an area in which I’m mindful. So far, it’s pretty easy, I’m constantly overwhelmed with gratitude. These days are beautiful, the environments are alive & electric, and the sport is fantastic.

And that’s the biggest connection, isn’t it? Do I “have to” go to these games, or do I “get to” go to these games? Am I missing the joy of watching these young men (including my son) explore their gifts (athletic and otherwise), choosing instead to stay angry at anything/everything else? Are these games becoming a stressor instead of a release? Do wins and losses matter more than all of the million other positive aspects of sport? Have I lost the point while living vicariously through these college students? Have I forgotten to love?

Am I remembering to love the players, the other parents, fans, staff, the depth, complexity, and beauty of the game, remembering to love it all? Am I remembering to love the time? It won’t always be here, we won’t always have this opportunity – I wonder if we’ll think about the results of the games ever again. We get to drive the hours together to sit in a gym and watch our boy become a man, watch all of these boys become men.

Last night, a parent was inconsolable, screaming in the stands about coaching decisions. It reminds me of Jacob, in the Bible, who wakes up and says, “Surely God was in this place and I was unaware.” I think this dad is going to say the same thing.

I have before, and I don’t want to say it ever again. It’s a new season, but I have the same focus: to be fully awake & present to this wonderful life.

At The Hollywood Bowl

January 6, 2026/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

It is my practice to listen to music while I write. This morning, the music is an entire Morrissey concert from the Hollywood Bowl on YouTube. [The opener was “The Queen Is Dead,” and now, it’s “The Last of The Famous International Playboys.”] This was a very good decision.

You see, I woke up on the metaphorical wrong side of the bed. I just wrote an apology email to the Angel, for my attitude. Nothing happened, specifically, just an overall tone that didn’t feel…

[A quick note: he’s playing “Ganglord” now, which is a b-side and a very pleasantly surprising inclusion in a live show.]

…didn’t feel great. Do you know when you have a t-shirt on and throw a sweater over it, and the sleeves of the t-shirt get twisted and bunched? Like you still have a t-shirt and sweater, maybe nobody else knows what’s gong on underneath, but you’re constantly fidgeting because it’s just not quite right, a little off? That’s what it felt like, and I assume my unease was communicated to her. I am mostly incapable of hiding anything, every thought and emotion is worn on the outside, so that seems a fair assumption.

[“The National Front Disco.” I recognize that Morrissey can be somewhat problematic, but so is everybody, if you read certain perspectives. Admittedly based upon nothing but his lyrics and older interviews, I happen to not believe any of the racism allegations against him. He’s not problematic in the least to me.]

Last night, I told her that I am the most authentic person she knows (this was half-joking and with context, not just an odd random statement). This is probably true, and not always anyone’s favorite characteristic. I used to be sort of a human chameleon, trying to fit into whatever you wanted me to be/say/do/think.

[His shirt is off and an audience member has a souvenir.]

But the more time I spent in the Bible, the more I learned to value honesty. If God doesn’t want my pretending, faking the “right” answers, and if I was willing to expose my true heart to Him, then I could to everyone else, too. And so many relationships stall because of an unwillingness to relate in any real, transparent way, I decided not to be the unwilling obstacle anymore.

[He’s just given the microphone to a woman in the 1st row, who is thanking him. That’s interesting. Now, “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side.”]

Of course, it’s not always been easy or simple, and has caused it’s own fair share of relational strife. This kind feels much better, though. The way I figure it, if you’ll have a problem with me, it’ll be with me, not some silly construct or mask I’ve chosen to wear. It has led to many emails like the one I just wrote. She’s a very good woman, and forgives easily. Maybe that’s what marriage is all about, choosing to love each other enough to truly forgive, almost on a continual basis, to where it’s natural and instinctual. You are you and I am me, and we are here, together. Maybe forgiveness like this is the most obvious indicator of a healthy selflessness.

This has been a strange post, I don’t know what I’m trying to say, if I’m trying to say anything. This concert is so good, I’m still awfully tired, but my spirit is noticeably lifted. Beauty has a tendency to do that. Maybe if we all had more beauty in our lives, things would look much different than they do now. If world leaders would spend a moment reading books and listening to great albums, maybe we’d not be in such a constant, overwhelming mess. If we all listened to The World Won’t Listen before we left the house, I bet we’d start to find ourselves predisposed to kindness, that love would be our default setting.

[“Disappointed.” Nice. And “I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty.” He sounds as good as I have ever heard him. The Smoking Popes have a song lyric, “I don’t know if you saved my life, but you changed it, that’s for sure.” That’s exactly how I feel about this person on my tv. I don’t know who I’d be today, if I’d be today, but I sure wouldn’t be who I am. I am grateful to be here. “Everyday Is Like Sunday.”]

I guess what I really think, in the deepest parts of me, is that this life doesn’t have to just be anything, that it can be what we make it. We get to choose what we see & hear (what we search and select on YouTube), and we get to choose our output just as easily as our input. And maybe we could be the ones creating the beauty that begins to unwind the chaos that currently defines, replacing the noise with the truly inspired chords and melody that we’d all love to hear.

Occasional Lapses

December 29, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

“The only constant is change.” This quote is attributed to Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher from Ephesus in roughly 500BC (if the AI is to believed), who also said one of my favorite maxims, “You cannot step twice into the same river twice.” He was called “the dark,” and “the obscure,” was arrogant and depressed, a “misanthrope who was subject to melancholia.”

A misanthrope is “a person who dislikes, distrusts, or has a general contempt for humankind, seeing deep flaws in human nature, behavior, and society, often leading to cynicism or antisocial tendencies, but they can still have normal relationships with individuals. Rooted in Greek for “hating mankind,” misanthropy involves a strong negative moral judgment of humanity as a whole, viewing people as selfish, flawed, and inherently bad, though they may not hate every single person.”

I don’t think you can step in the same river twice, it’s different and so are you. I think change is the only constant. I am depressed. But I am certainly not a misanthrope. If you’ve read anything I’ve written before, you know how much I like you. I like everybody. I do not distrust you, or have a general contempt for humankind. In fact, I think we’re mostly trustworthy (with occasional lapses), caring and positive (with occasional lapses). We are, of course, selfish and flawed, and the “occasional lapses” are sometimes more than occasional, but that, as they say, is the cost of doing business.

The question we all have to answer is, “what kind of world do we want to live in?’ And, are we living in that world? If we want to live in a kind, loving world, are we kind and loving? If we want a world of integrity and honor, do those words describe us? In a very well-known passage of the Bible, we’re told “love keeps no record of wrongs.” If we want to live in a world based in/on love, are we throwing our ledgers out?

What made an impact on me, when I was at my most cynical, was another, related question, was my distrust making me happier? Or, better, was my distrust insulating me from the pain of betrayal, of broken trust? This is like the perspective, “I’m not getting my hopes up.” Is that helpful? If you try not to “get your hopes up,” (if that were actually possible), does the disappointing thing hurt less? And I found that answer to be, no. My cynicism wasn’t protecting me, at all. It was just making me lonelier.

So, now I trust everybody. I start from the position of grace, where we begin with an A on the first day of class, and go from there. Obviously, not everyone deserves an A and behaves in a C or D or F manner, but if we’re honest, so do I. And then, the world I want to live in is one of forgiveness, so I do that. (I try to do that.) And yes, of course, I get disappointed when my trust isn’t rewarded. Not everyone can, or should, be trusted, but how can you tell the difference? Most of us have occasional lapses, does that make us dangerous? Or human? Do we think that our last worst moment defines us? Do we want it to? Then, why would we use that criteria for everybody else?

What about wisdom and boundaries? Every now and then, people are toxic and lose their access to me. But I don’t lock that box anymore. They can climb out and are free to step into a new reality… maybe it’s not with me, but it’s not for me to decide what they’ll do. It’s only up to me to decide what I’ll do, and everything has gotten exponentially better since I started seeing with these new eyes, and feeling with this new heart.

My new year’s resolution is to remember to see and feel with these new eyes and heart, remember to start from the position of grace, remember to love unconditionally, without the occasional lapses.

A New Story

December 23, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

My favorite album of all time is The Queen is Dead, by the Smiths. Number 2 is Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, by Sarah McLachlan. And 3rd is August & Everything After, by Counting Crows. (I only allow myself 1 album from the Smiths or Morrissey. It’s the same logic when I make a list of favorite songs. I probably like all Morrissey songs more than I like “I Remember You,” by Skid Row, but that feels against the spirit of the list, so I set a limit and move forward. The song I put at #2 is “I Can’t Help Myself,” by Gene, and it might be in the top 10, top 20 for sure, if i included all of the songs, but it would really be only one of 2 or 3 non-Morrissey/Smiths in the top 100 or so. Anyway.)

There’s a Counting Crows documentary on HBO now that is so great. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it immediately.

I don’t know what to say now. Do I tell you about it? About the SNL performance? About the backlash? About Adam Duritz’s mental illness? I don’t want to tell you about any of those things, but I don’t know what to write.

We can’t describe the best art; we can talk about style, subject, technique, but they don’t ever do the piece justice. We can get an idea or what it is, or what it means, but it’s still just an obvious inadequacy. It’s like if I tell you what it’s like to kiss the Angel. There just aren’t words.

If you listen to a live recording of “Round Here,” maybe you’ll understand what is so deeply important about this band. Maybe don’t read the lyrics first, and certainly not while you watch – they’re perfect, but without his voice and the band and the moment where the guitars and drums and “she must be tired of something,” much is lost. A live band is different from a record.

This reminds me of a church service. Yes, you can watch it on YouTube or read the sermon transcript, but you’ll miss the urgency and the crackling energy of the message and God’s hand on your heart.

I guess what I mean is that you have those spaces that really matter. At least, I hope you do. I suspect that we, as a culture, are moving away from authentic connection and experience. Driving a car in a video game is not driving a car, and I think we’re starting to believe it is.

And I guess what I’m trying to ask is if you’d please see someone in person, show up, hold someone’s hand, kiss your wife or your husband. And not just send a kissy emoji. Life can be the most wonderful (of course, it can also be the worst, but so is everything), and this is a season that is inviting us into a new story, but it’s a story that has to be lived.

I hope, this year, we all choose to live it.

This Morning

December 15, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

This morning, the school was operating on a 2 hour delay, which means the Angel was operating on a 2 hour delay. I still woke up early, though, because my son was driving to work, and I like to see him before he goes every morning, especially so when it might be dangerous. I pray and wait for him to text when he arrives. (He did, safely, despite a few “hairy” moments.)

Usually, I would go to the gym early and be back before the Angel’s alarm, but not today. My youngest son is home from college and wanted to work out with me, so I had a few hours to kill.

While I stayed under the electric blanket, waiting, I turned on a documentary called A Glitch In The Matrix. The idea is that we are living in a simulation. It’s too much to explain here – if you care what scientists, theorists and “iconoclasts,” think about it, you should totally watch it. An iconoclast, incidentally, is “someone who attacks cherished beliefs, established institutions, or traditional ideas,” like someone who says the truth of our reality is like the plot of a ‘90’s Keanu Reeves action film.

I kept wondering if this was a ‘work,’ if an iconoclast’s attacks on the status quo are genuine, or simply trolling. Do these people truly believe that the Wachowski brothers, then, sisters, now had figured out the mysteries of existence? It’s much like how I feel watching politicians – do they believe these words/ideas/policies, or are they just shape-shifting to meet or challenge others?

If it’s all a work and I’m on board with their philosophy, am I the butt of the joke? Am I the one who is dangerous, who will believe anything, who will blindly follow any charismatic charlatan? But then, on the other hand, what if we are living in a simulation like the Matrix and my suspicious hesitation is holding me back from…well, what? Is the revolution waiting for me? Would anything change for me, if my life isn’t “real?” What is “real?”

Now. As it turns out, my son decided not to go to the gym with me, and I was disappointed. Who made him decide not to go, and who made me disappointed? Was it as simple as the two of us? Or was it a member of an advanced civilization that created our earth?

To be honest with you, I didn’t understand many of the sentences in the film. It was like word salad, or Mad-Libs, so maybe I could’ve gotten the joke or the sincerity if I was more intelligent. Maybe that’s why I’m the perfect drone, because I’m too dumb to break out of the construct.

So, would anything change for me if I placed my faith in this theory? A guy in the documentary detailed the murder of his parents that he committed, because he was convinced this all wasn’t real and that he was Neo, or like Neo, or just wanted to join the resistance with Neo. I wouldn’t do that, I can comfortably tell you that. Honestly, I can’t think of one thing that would change about my life. Whether these fingers, toes, and thoughts are my own or extensions of an alternate puppetmaster, I’m still going to get up and try to love 2 people today.

That’s my Pyramid Scheme of Love: I love 2 people, those 2 people love 2 people each, those 4 people love 2 each, and on and on. You love it, right? It’s a terrific idea, and the only way we can change this world into the sort of world we’d want to live in.

.Or maybe it’s not mine. And maybe the only way is to revolt and force our techno-oppressors to change it for us.

Fantastic

December 9, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

I didn’t go to the theater to see Fantastic 4: First Steps, because the MCU has inexplicably made the decision to abandon the beauty and depth of its first phases, and focus instead on mindless cash grabs and insulting their audience. I thought maybe the She-Hulk series and, especially, the 4th Thor movie, Love & Thunder (which I refuse to acknowledge as artwork), would end my relationship with Marvel. It didn’t, but I no longer go to see them opening weekend (or in theaters at all).

I’ve watched this new Fantastic 4 movie 3 times now, and I love it more each time, and I know exactly why.

First, Galactus is the villain, but that’s not the point. The inter-planetary threat is just the context for characters and relationships. This is what set the first 20ish MCU movies apart. It was never about CGI and superpowers. We cared so much because their concerns were ours – love, friendship, courage in the face of adversity, perseverance, egotism, the always present choice between selfishness and selflessness, and the impact we can have upon our worlds. The rest was just the device for this very vital human expression. So, yes, Galactus was cool, but whatever.

We fall in love quickly with the 4 and this new baby. Their concerns are relatable and heavy. Will this baby change us, our marriage? What about our careers, will/can we keep the same commitment to several places at once? Will our values transform, and if they do, what does that look like? When everything changes in a moment, how do we put it all back together, if we decide to put it back together at all? And what role do our families & communities have in that?

The only other one I’ll talk about is the world they inhabit, an earth that is not ours. A world where the people are empathetic, kind and helpful, where an angry mob can listen to Sue Storm and have their perspectives immediately change, where all of the countries of the world can cooperate in a massive combined effort. These are all such foreign concepts to us. Can you imagine if a small group relays a message like this: A being is coming to consume the planet, we’ll figure it out. Then, when we have, you’ll have to trust us enough to turn your power off to conserve, and devote all of your money and energy to this end? HA! This is a world we’d like to live in, but that none of us can manage to work up the courage to go first to make it that way.

In the end credits for the Thunderbolts, it looked like the Fantastic 4 were coming here. They won’t have any idea what to do, it’ll be the culture shock of all culture shocks. They’ll find people who don’t seem to like each other at all, and a selfish disregard for everything that exists outside of a small personal circle. Now, I have no idea what is in the plans for the new direction of the MCU, they can build on the beauty of Thunderbolts and First Steps, or they could have a 2nd season of She-Hulk or, worse, bring Taika Waititi back for another movie. But maybe they could explore the differences between that earth and our own, maybe the next great battle is between our shared humanity and our inhumanity, manufactured from a deep well of fear.

I hope we win.

Kinds of People

December 1, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

In my line of work, I get the beautifully sacred opportunity to walk with many different people, in a vast sea of situations and experiences. At the same time, it is my favorite, and the worst, part of being human. I find myself wanting to help, giving time, energy, giving so much of myself to something in which I ultimately have zero control.

I have this theory, on how each of us approaches our own development/growth. (You should know, I love discussions like this: There are 2 kinds of people in the world, Beatles people and Stones people. Which one are you and why, what does that mean? Of course, it’s limited and overly simplistic, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t truth in it. So, as I go into this particular theory of mine, understand that this isn’t scientific in any way, unless you’d call the way I interpret my experience scientific…which, I suppose, you might. Who knows? Another thing: I believe growth is the natural inclination of everything, and anything that goes against this is uncomfortable because it’s fundamentally opposed to our creation.) Anyway, there are 4 kinds of people.

First, there are those who want to be coached. They like suggestion and direction. They want you to show them how to field a ground ball or hold a football. You can ask them to read a book or write in a journal or take 300 swings at a batting cage, and they will! This is the smallest group, of the first 3, by the way. They want to find a coach, and they are imminently teachable.

The second group is the largest, by a wide margin. These sojourners want to find the answer themselves. It is our business to create a safe space for them to ask and answer. They can brainstorm, try, rage, doubt, risk, be as wildly out there as they can, and they are able to wander. If you give them direction, maybe they will, but probably they won’t. They want to field a ground ball themselves. What they want is a padded room and the occasional guided question to explore themselves, to find themselves. They are motivated and will examine themselves, you are just there to allow their journey.

Next are those who DO NOT WANT TO GROW. I am here and here is where I’ll stay. If you give direction, like “read chapter 1 and we’ll talk about it,” they aren’t reading chapter 1. Let’s go field some ground balls… Nope. They say “I don’t know,” to nearly everything about themselves or their actions, and it’s true. They don’t, because it’s just too demanding to think about it. This often looks like regression, but it might only appear that way, because the world is moving forward, and THEY ARE NOT. Sometimes, they are aggressive in their complacency. Other times, they don’t care enough for aggression.

I said the 1st group was the smallest, and that’s mostly true. The fourth group is smaller, but since they’re monsters, they don’t count. Thankfully, there aren’t many of them. These people don’t want to grow, and they don’t want you to grow, either. They will sabotage and lie, anything they have to do to mislead you. This group exists in everything. They are dangerous and should be avoided until they are no longer so nasty and bent on everyone’s ruin.

Maybe there aren’t 4 kinds of people. Instead, there’s probably just one, and we move from group to group, depending on the circumstance and season. (Except the last, hopefully.) Sometimes, we’ll want a coach. Others, a space. And yet other times, we just want life and any sort of invitation or responsibility to LEAVE US ALONE. The only reason my silly theory is important is to know how to love each other on our separate paths, and contribute to each other’s discovery process without driving ourselves mad with frustration in the process.

Yes, this is just me writing. It feels different from the usual format these posts take, but it’s helpful to “talk through things out loud” to organize these thoughts, and figure out if they are really what you think and/or believe. This is my “safe space” to run.

Incidentally, as you can easily guess, I am a Beatles man, and it’s not close. I’m willing to listen to those who say The Rolling Stones aren’t ridiculously, hilariously overrated, but they’re wrong.

Panic!

November 24, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Today, I’m listening to Panic! at the Disco (that strange, misplaced exclamation point is not a typo on my part – though it was dropped for the 2nd album, as they attempted to become the Beatles, and the Beatles didn’t have a strange, misplaced exclamation point. Then, when that album wasn’t as commercially successful, they brought that punctuation back for the rest of their existence. Maybe people just were disoriented & confused, maybe there were 2: Panic! At The Disco and Panic At The Disco, and we couldn’t like them both.

I don’t hate that 2nd album, Pretty.Odd, and in fact, it has one of the songs I listened to most for a several year span (according to my iPod), “Nine In The Afternoon.”

I know we aren’t supposed to love them, for some of the same reasons we aren’t supposed to love Fall Out Boy (pretense, ridiculous song titles, etc.), but whoever decides what we’re “supposed to” love is wrong. That person (or group, or board) is always wrong, incidentally. There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure.

Guilty pleasures are those things we like that we “shouldn’t” like, like the Bravo Network, Growing Pains, Matchbox 20, and cargo pants. Nonsense. If you happen to like ‘80’s Kirk Cameron (actually, if you happen to like ‘20’s Kirk Cameron, for that matter), then who is anyone to tell you you’re pleasure is misplaced or shameful? Cargo pants are the coolest and Mad Season is a GREAT album.

I recently discovered that Panic! At The Disco is problematic, and that might be a reason to move away from them. Apparently, they’ve been accused of being sexist, transphobic, homophobic, and/or racist. I think there might be more, but I didn’t go any further than the AI headline.

The truth is, I don’t know if I care.

I’ve asked a form of this question before. Does “Baby Be Mine,” by Michael Jackson, suffer under the weight of a mountain of allegations? Is the “Himself” stand-up special from Bill Cosby stained so badly that the jokes are no longer hilarious? What about Kevin Spacey and Seven or The Usual Suspects? And what are the transgressions that warrant a reconsideration of the artwork? I think Hemingway was a terrible person, now what? Brandi Carlisle was absolutely awful TO ME, personally, and that did totally change the way I hear her output. But that seems a little selfish, that it only counts if it happens to me.

I’m listening to the Vices & Virtues album right now, and if I was forced to decide now, I guess I don’t care. I can’t help from dancing (a completely involuntary response!!) to “Baby Be Mine.” Maybe that makes me a bad person. But I bet, if you listen to “Trade Mistakes,” you’d be a terrible person, too.

I think I do care, though. I want to care. I want to expect more of humanity, of my neighbors, of us. I want us to love and take care of each other. Is that too much to ask?

And is this similar to shopping at Walmart or buying Nike’s or anything from Shein? If we want our corporations to behave better, shouldn’t we withhold our money until they do? And wouldn’t that make sense to carry that into our record stores and theaters?

Is this what a guilty pleasure is? In that case, maybe it’s not so nonsensical, and maybe it requires even more thought. (But maybe that consideration shouldn’t happen while I’m dancing to Panic! records…)

2 Movies

November 17, 2025/The Bridge Faith Community/Leave a comment

Before we jump into the 2 movies of the title, I watched a documentary on the family of the Gilgo Beach serial killer (The Gilgo Beach Killer: House of Secrets). The big question is, how could they not know? Right?? And how could they remain oblivious to a monster in their home? Does that make them monsters, too? And how can the wife, Asa, still smile with hearts in her eyes, when his name is mentioned? How can she still take his phone calls from prison?

So, I asked the Angel. If I was arrested today for murdering a bunch of sex workers, and looked her straight in the eyes and said, “I didn’t do this. You know me, we’ve been married forever, I love you, and I did not do this,” was there any amount of evidence that would convince her otherwise? Her answer was, “well, I know you would never do any of those things, so…” And that’s probably what Asa thinks, too.

The questions I asked in the first paragraph are pretty condescending and arrogant. They all presuppose that this woman is so different from me, her family is so different from mine. Obviously, I am not a serial killer and The Angel’s answer was, ultimately, correct, but judgmentalism is born from that part of us that believes that we are somehow better than anyone else, and that’s simply not true. We’re all just human beings. What separates us from the darkness, the evil, of this murderer, this person (who is still a person, and not a monster, after all)? There’s a Morrissey song (“Sister, I’m a Poet”) that asks, “Is evil just something you are? Or something you do?”

Now that I think of it, most likely it’s this kind of thinking that allowed him to murder these women. He believed the work they did made them less than, so he could rationalize their deaths. He could not have been more wrong. These women were someone’s daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, beautiful and lovely human beings, created in the image of their Creator. This less than thinking will, likely, allow us to rationalize his murder, too.

[To be clear, I don’t think he should be out of prison. There are consequences. But maybe murder, in any context, should not be something we excuse.]

As I am writing, what I initially wanted to say has disappeared. I watched Fantastic Four: First Steps and Jurassic World: Rebirth and liked them both. Fantastic Four was pretty great, Rebirth was good enough. But now, I’m thinking, maybe we all take human life a little too lightly. Too many people died in each.

I don’t think we should put too much stock in desensitization. There’s no shortage of those who will tell us that watching movies where dinosaurs eat extras confuses us, to the point where we can’t tell the difference between Hollywood & our neighbors. I’m not convinced first person shooter games blur the lines between tv screens and reality.

BUT. It may make it easier to see some “characters” as sub-human, creating a system of levels where some are disposable. That categorization isn’t just in movies and video games. Our language and political perspectives, our questions, our societal norms and structures, build & reinforce this poisonous idea that some people are worth more than others.

When I watch these documentaries, I like them, they’re really fascinating. Over time, though, the de-valuation and subsequent violence to each other takes a heavy toll on my heart & soul. It hurts to see so many tears, so much anger and hurt and insecurity and fear. Any time someone has the need to bully, cut, condescend and ultimately dehumanize another, we all know it comes from a deep fear at his/her own inadequacy, and until we address this root cause, we’ll keep producing more and more of the same horrific documentary fodder.

Maybe it’s time we stopped.

Love With A Capital L

A journey towards living an inspired life of love in the modern world

Author: The Bridge Faith Community